developing resilience when times are tough or just annoying

Marriage Monday: Gotta Get me some Bounce

Bounce is funny. When catastrophes occur, I seem to bounce back fairly well. It’s clear to me that God will get me through anything. But those little annoyances, the disturbing interruptions that plague my day like buzzing mosquitos … they’re not so easy for me to plough through. Gotta get me some bounce!

How I Bounce Back from Big Things

When catastrophes occur I seem to bounce back fairly well. It’s clear to me that God will get me through anything. I know for sure I am not in control of the situation.

I’ve had several big things in my life. I lost a baby to miscarriage. My dad ended his life. My husband went through cancer. During the Covid surge in winter of 2020, my husband was hospitalized for 30 days, undergoing two brain surgeries, uncontrollable seizures, a ventilator, inability to speak, write, or move his right hand.

When the big things happen, I pivot and instantly hit the floor in prayer. I pay attention for God’s voice and look for opportunities in the mess. I’m willing to lean on God for the big things and bounce back to joy. I embrace my community and ask for prayer.

During those times, I have felt scared and unsure, but I also felt at peace and very much loved. I had a sense that everything was going to be ok, even if the worst of my fears materialized. God was in control. That’s a great place to be.

“The joy that Jesus offers his disciples is his own joy, which flows from his intimate communion with the One who sent him. It is a joy that does not separate happy days from sad days, successful moments from moments of failure, experiences of honor from experiences of dishonor, passion from resurrection. This joy is a divine gift that does not leave us during times of illness, poverty, oppression, or persecution.“

Henri Nouwen

But then there’s the Little Things…

But those little annoyances, the disturbing interruptions that plague my day like buzzing mosquitos … they’re not so easy for me to plough through. The computer had a problem. I get stuck in traffic. I break a glass on the kitchen floor. Dumb stuff, meaningless stuff. People don’t come through.

I get sidetracked or stuck. Prayer is the farthest thing from my mind. God goes silent, because I don’t listen to Him.

I’m willing to lean on God for the big things and bounce back to joy. But I still think I’m in control of the little things and I fall flat in the joy department.

Without joy, I’m crabby and petty and irritated and my mood brings Bruce down too. He instantly thinks he did something wrong. That he’s in trouble.

The truth is, even if he was involved in the situation, my lack of bounce and joy is on me. I have the divine gift of intimate communion with the Source of Joy. Jesus has filled my soul with His presence, He won’t ever leave me. Not in the big things. Not in the small things. But I can ignore Him. I can sit in my pity party and refuse to pivot.

How sad is that?

“And now I am coming to You; I say these things while I am still in the world, so that My joy may be made full and complete and perfect in them [that they may experience My delight fulfilled in them, that My enjoyment may be perfected in their own souls, that they may have My gladness within them, filling their hearts].”‭‭

John 17:13 AMPC

Prayer for Bounce

Abba, Thank You for the gift of Your Joy. It’s what allowed you to bounce back from the hard things You endured on earth. You knew we would need joy, and You made sure to let us know specifically that joy was part of the deal. You love to delight us, You love to perfect our souls.

As I go through today, I will probably encounter various annoyances and irritations that will threaten my joy. I may even run into some big things today. If I get knocked down by life will You remind me that I can bounce back into Your joy? Will You help me remember I have Your joy, just waiting to make me complete? Most of all, I want to remember I am not in control, and that’s a good thing. You do a much better job of handling life than I could ever do.

In Your name, Amen.

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