parenting changed me

Marriage Monday: How Parenting Changed Me

Parenting changed me in ways I never expected. I pictured my children being molded into wonderful humans as they grew up. That did happen, but my surprise was how God transformed me in the process.

The Product of Parenting

After delivering my first-born, the nurse brings my son to me, neatly and securely wrapped. Jason’s peacefully sleeping and all cleaned up. It’s pure joy looking into his perfect face. He’s the first child, birthed out of our love. And I am privileged to guide him into becoming the man God designed him to be.

Don’t we think of our parenting as having a product? Our job is to produce well-adjusted adults who love and live well. And who remember me on Mother’s Day. ☺️

We have two grown and married kids, Jason and Robin, as well as two grandsons, Kaleb and Sam. From the perspective of having raised two kids and watching two grandsons growing up I see there’s so much more to parenting than I originally pictured. At the time when chaos was reigning, being still and paying attention to my own personal growth didn’t happen. I just never went there. But now, with the perspective of time and a relationship with Jesus, I can see how God intends parenting to be about the parent’s growth almost as much as the child’s growth.

Parenting Changed Me

how parenting changed me

The most important product of my parenting is … me. God used my role as a mother to help me to mature, just as he desires to use all circumstances for the good purpose of growth.

Parenting illuminates who I am. Sometimes the illumination is hard to see. I failed so often as a parent. My temper got the better of me far too often. But redemption and transformation won’t happen if there is no failure. I’m still learning as a parent of adults, as our relationships grow into friendships.

I learned these things:

  • Find a good mentor and learn about healthy parenting from them.
  • When your kids get on your last nerve, ask God what he wants you to know about your response. Discipline yourself before disciplining your child.
  • Perspective changes everything. I once saw a large jar containing one marble for every week of a child’s life from birth to graduation. Each week you were to remove one marble that you will never get back. You will never get this week back.
  • Never stop forgiving yourself. God doesn’t.
  • Never stop forgiving your child. God doesn’t.
  • Let your child grow into the person God created them to be. They were never intended to be your clone.
  • Have serious fun and don’t ever stop laughing at yourself.
how parenting changed me

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when [children and their] tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

James 1:2-4 MSG

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