We didn’t need any marriage education. It was 1976, we were madly in love and planning our wedding. We met in college and were planning on grad school within a year. Who needs more education? Let’s get on with life!
Relationships are the Only Thing that Really Matters
Little did we know, but a psychological study done at Harvard, known as the most in-depth study on the well-being of humans ever done, concluded that “the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships.
It’s funny to think how much we invested in our career education and how little we invested in our relationship education. Everyone knows an education will help us succeed in our careers. Why don’t we apply that to the most important relationship we’ll ever have? After almost 45 years of marriage and 9 years of mentoring married couples we know first hand that marriage education really does help couples.
We’ve grown tremendously in our marriage since becoming mentors. We had to learn about the importance of communication, conflict resolution, and forgiveness. We had to start practicing what we taught other couples. Marriage education helps mentors too.
Blessings pour over the ones who find wisdom, for they have obtained living-understanding. As wisdom increases, a great treasure is imparted, greater than many bars of refined gold. It is a more valuable commodity than gold and gemstones, for there is nothing you desire that could compare to her
Proverbs 3:13-15 TPT
The Value of Marriage Education
Knowledge helps us learn some things, and unlearn others. It can debunk the following myths we might believe about marriage.
- We expect exactly the same things about marriage
- Everything good in our relationship will get better when we’re married
- Everything bad in my life will disappear when we’re married
- My spouse will make me whole
Marriage education can also teach us skills in communication and conflict resolution. Most of us don’t learn healthy skills in these areas in our birth families. Some families will just stuff it and refuse to talk about their conflicts. Other families will are more forceful and insistent when working through issues.
Hundreds of studies show that marriage education, counseling or mentoring make a significant positive difference for the majority of couples. And yet, the vast majority of engaged couples don’t get premarital education.
Where to Find Marriage Education
A church is a great place to connect with experienced couples and learn from them. But if your church doesn’t offer a pre-marriage mentoring or counseling program, here are some resources to help you. Consider inviting a mature married couple you admire to go through one of these resources with you.
- Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Les and Leslie Parrott
- Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman
- Preparing Your Heart for Marriage by Gary Thomas
- Attend a Weekend to Remember event
You may be preparing for your big day, that’s wonderful! Just don’t forget to prepare for the rest of your life.