Marriage Book Review: The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell

I recently read a proof copy of The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell since I’m on the launch team. But in reality, I love reading his blog and his books. To “unhide” is to bring out of concealment or to discover. Reading this premier novel from psychologist and author, Kelly Flanagan, was a journey of discovering a poignant story about a marriage written from a caring heart.

The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell by Dr. Kelly Flanagan

Kelly Flanagan was successful by all the world’s standards. Rather than resting on his laurels, he found life lacking. Consequently, he asked the question many of us do: Is there more to life than this? This question and the journey he took to discovery led him to start a blog which went viral and landed him on the Today Show with his daughter. Afterward, he wrote two wonderful books that I thoroughly enjoyed, Loveable and True Companions. His latest foray into discovery is his first novel, The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell, which will launch October 18, 2022. The book is available on Amazon, as a pre-order now or a purchase after its launch.

“The past is behind us, but it is also, always, within us.” As Kelly begins weaving Elijah and Rebecca’s love story we’re given a hint about the themes of healing and freedom. The book is written in the first person of Elijah, which I loved. I’ve read a lot of fiction about marriages, however I find it rare to hear the story from the man’s standpoint. I welcome a man’s point of view. Don’t we women want to know more about what our men are thinking?

The author’s website synopsis:

Elijah Campbell is on the verge of losing his writing career, his faith, and his marriage when a recurring childhood nightmare drives him back to his hometown, Bradford’s Ferry.

There, his encounters with loved ones both past and present shed light on the reason his wife left him – and the meaning of his nightmare. However, beyond the light he begins to glimpse something even more terrifying – a decision he must make. . .to continue hiding the secrets of his past or unhide the only thing that can save his marriage: himself.

What I loved about The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell

I love understanding what motivates and inspires people. Given the number of books I’ve read on psychology, I should have an honorary degree. You can tell Kelly is a counselor because of the tone he uses in weaving his beautiful story. His caring heart and sympathetic voice shine through the vocabulary. When you finish this book you will want to make an appointment with him just to experience being in the presence of such a good human. Unfortunately, he lives too far away to make that practical.

Of the two main characters, I identified most with Elijah. His tendency to hide and wear a mask are more like me. On the other hand, Rebecca is far more real and up front than I am. She’s gutsy and not afraid to go after what she wants, which I see as admirable qualities. I wish I were more like Rebecca.

I was hooked until the very end of the book. Will he ever write again? Will his faith survive? And what about their marriage? Will Elijah remain hidden from God, himself, and other people forever? Will the changes Elijah’s making be enough to woo Rebecca back to him? No spoilers here, you will have to read it yourself to find out.

How does this Book apply to Marriage and Mentoring?

I love finding a fiction book that holds your attention and leaves you understanding yourself and your marriage a little bit better. That’s what The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell did for me.

Have you ever been fired by a marriage counselor?

In one section, Elijah is actually fired by his counselor. This made me think about our relationships with the couples we mentor. Eventually many stop responding to our calls and for that reason we come to the conclusion that they are no longer interested. These couples are always the ones who are not making progress.Instead, should we be more proactive? Is a periodic progress checkup helpful? Do we let couples just fade away from meeting with us? Or would it impact a couple more if we, their mentors, took a break?

If you and your spouse are going to marriage counseling, have you ever been fired? What impact did that have on you? How would you respond if a counselor or a mentor “fired” you?

Do you experience potential moments of resurrection?

I have a yellow sticky note on my computer screen. It’s a quote by Kierkegaard reading, “Life is lived forward, but only understood backward.” The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell is about understanding backwards. Elijah’s urge, going back to childhood, to hide his emotions was so strong he couldn’t even unhide from himself. It wasn’t until he explored his past that he began to understand the baggage he brought with him. How does my relationship with my spouse today reveal a truth about my past?

In childhood I often felt I wasn’t smart enough. If anyone questioned me I got angry. I worked hard to read every book I could get my hands on. It’s probably why I never feel I have enough training. So when Bruce doubts the truth of something I’ve said, those old feelings of inferiority and anger rise up in me. My response is over-the-top because I not only hear Bruce, but the voices of those other people who doubted a young girl and made her feel inferior. I’ve learned to pay attention to my bubbling anger and calm the little girl inside. That makes for a much more pleasant discussion with Bruce!

In your own marriage, what flash-points of anger, jealousy, fear, or abandonment rise up regularly? Do you and your spouse argue about the same things over and over again without resolution? That could be a clue that one or both of you are harboring a childhood wound. Now’s the time to pay attention and go to God asking Him where that intense feeling comes from. He loves to help us heal wounds. As Flanagan writes, it is a potential moment of resurrection.

Where to Find The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell

One last quote from The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell. Do you agree with this statement?

I don’t think the future is ever predetermined, but I do think our futures are eventually determined by what we do with these moments of resurrection, especially when such moments cluster together, forming a sort of bridge in the middle of our life, one we may cross to new ground, or one we may turn back from retreading the ground from which we came.

The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell

Fortunately this book is not hiding! Check out Amazon for your copy in paperback or Kindle. Currently there is a bonus for pre-ordering the book: a free masterclass on cultivating a better conversation within you. In addition, you will be entered into a drawing for some sweet prizes, including tickets for two to a retreat weekend in Kelly’s hometown. Visit his website for more information.

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