At our wedding we lit a Unity Candle, did you do something similar? We had no idea at the time how hard it was going to be to let God unto the sacred space between us and truly become One.
When we were Not One
On that day in 1976, we each grasped our own candle symbolizing our unique families, and together lit the central candle symbolizing our unity. We were now “One!”
“and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.”
Mark 10:8 NIV
For most of the intervening years, however, our individual point of view would have been: “Yes, we are one; and I’m the one!”
That viewpoint caused all kinds of dysfunction, as you can guess!
Becoming One by Inviting God into the Sacred Space between us
It took a revolution in our souls for us to understand that being the center of our own universe is not a recipe for successful relationships. As long as I cling to the notion that everyone else exists to serve my needs, I will continue to be disappointed and unfulfilled. In my marriage, God must be the center around which Bruce and I revolve, He’s the glue in the sacred space between us.
This paradigm shift can be described as the Copernican Revolution, a term that refers to how we see ourselves in relation to others. Copernicus was the one with the mind-blowing discovery that the earth wasn’t at the center of the solar system; it was the sun at the center, and the earth revolved around it.
The Copernican revolution in our marriage was when we each realized, “It’s not all about me!” God brought two very different people together and asked us to become one. He’s fully capable to do that mysterious, revolutionary transformation. All He needs are two willing souls who invite Him into the sacred space between them.
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