Did you know that Proverbs personifies Wisdom as a woman? “Wisdom has built her house; she has set up its seven pillars…” How cool is that? I thought it was very cool – until I realized that the same proverb also personifies Folly as a woman! What’s the difference? Wisdom stops witless words.
Women Sometimes Think they are Very Wise
Don’t you love thinking of Wisdom as a woman? How smart of God to realize we are the wise ones.
Wisdom has built her house; she has set up its seven pillars. She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine; she has also set her table.
Proverbs 9:1-2 NIV
Of course, we know the best way to do things and our husbands should be glad to know when they’re doing it wrong, right?? I’m just trying to help him be a better man!
That was totally me, especially early in our marriage and when our kids were small. I was completely bought into the prevailing cultural attitude toward men; for instance that they were clueless, looked for things with man-eyes, and acted like children themselves.
I thought I was so wise!
I’ve heard a number of women I have mentored echo the same ideas. Quite a few have told me that they consider their husbands just one more kid to take care of.
Women can be Very Foolish
But wait a minute… God also personifies Folly or Foolishness as a woman.
Folly is an unruly woman; she is simple and knows nothing.
Proverbs 9:13 NIV
Yikes! I cringe when I think of how I disrespected Bruce in those years. Sometimes it wasn’t so much what I said, but what I failed to say. I had no idea how my disrespect was hurting him. I often failed to build him up in our kid’s eyes, which was a poor example of a loving marriage.
Have you ever let words slip out of your mouth without thinking? I sure have! I think God has a great sense of humor and sometimes He throws some zingers into His word to get us to stop and think, is this me? Although He calls Wisdom and Foolishness “she”, our husbands are just as likely to speak before they think too.
If I am truly wise, I will stop witless words from escaping my mouth. How in the world do I do that?
Women can be Very Wise
The Bible is full of Wisdom, but I find that I can forget about it in the heat of the moment. I try to read some Scripture every day to keep my mind focused on God’s true, life-giving words.
That’s actually very good brain science. The more I think about something, read about something, or talk about something, the more likely that information will be accessible to me. If I fill my mind with words of wisdom, it’s more likely that words of wisdom will come out of me when I need them most.
Winsome words spoken at just the right time are as appealing as apples gilded in gold and surrounded with silver.
Proverbs 25:11 TPT
Words are so important in a marriage. If you need a fill-up of some wise words, I recommend reading the first 9 Proverbs. They all speak about Wisdom, and contrast Wisdom and Foolishness. Take a few days to read each Proverb. Let the words sink in. Start a list of adjectives of Wisdom and a list of adjectives of Foolishness. You will see quite a contrast!
With a tender heart and a willing spirit, God can fill us with so much wonderful Wisdom.