Why is it so much easier to see faults in my hubby than in me? When we are having a disagreement it’s abundantly clear to me who needs to change (and it’s not me!)
But there’s the source of conflict, because he’s equally sure who needs to change (and it’s not him!)
Who’s right and who’s wrong?
It Takes Two to Tango
Mom used to say, “it takes two to tango.” I hated that saying. It meant both me and which ever sister I was fighting with would be disciplined. And I knew for sure it wasn’t me who needed discipline!!
See a pattern here? It took me many years to realize how blind I was to my own stinkin’ pride. This pattern resulted in years of conflict in my life, in several difficult relationships.
When you act with presumption, convinced that you’re right, don’t be surprised if you fall flat on your face! But walking in humility helps you to make wise decisions.
Proverbs 11:2 TPT
Who’s Wrong?
Who’s wrong in any conflict? Unless one of you is Jesus, it’s probably both of you. Even if I didn’t start it, my response is always my responsibility.
Think back to the last disagreement you had with your spouse. Do you remember how it started? Do you remember who said what? Go over the situation in your mind and evaluate your responses.
- What did you say?
- What was your tone of voice?
- What did your face look like? Your body language?
- Would you be embarrassed if a recording of your words was played for your friends and family?
Abba, help me pause before pinning the blame on my prickly spouse. Pride puts blinders on me too.
“Respond gently when you are confronted and you’ll defuse the rage of another. Responding with sharp, cutting words will only make it worse. Don’t you know that being angry can ruin the testimony of even the wisest of men?”
Proverbs 15:1 TPT
Who’s Right?
God’s word is always right to consult in any conflict. The verses above are a great start. To help you navigate conflict in marriage or in any relationship, my books can be a guide.
Making Peace with Prickly People (affiliate link) will help you transform your relationships by loving God first, then loving others as you love yourself. On my book page, there are other resources available including a personality assessment and a free downloadable study guide.
Mindful: Meditate & Color Your Way to Life-Giving Relationships (affiliate link) tells the same story, in a short devotional/coloring book format.
God is Right, and He wants to transform you and those you love. He starts that process by showering you with His eternal love. Open your heart to Him and begin to be changed from the inside out.
…because U count, deb