What is your marriage story? You had plenty of photo-worthy moments, a few tough seasons, and long stretches of day-to-day humdrum life. Maybe you have ten years under your belt, or maybe you have fifty. But consider this – your story may not be complete until you tell the story!
Read more: Your Marriage Story may not be Complete until you Tell the StoryThree Things God wants to do with your Marriage Story
Your life may not seem novel-worthy. Your marriage was never featured on the evening news. But God loves to use ordinary stories of ordinary people. Here are three ways He wants to use your story.
First, God asks us to comfort others with our stories. In our “dark night of the soul,” God is always available to comfort us. We just have to ask. Have you gone through a tough season? We have. Years ago, we lost a pregnancy to miscarriage. We wouldn’t want to experience that time again, but we can sympathize with other couples and offer them comfort because of our struggle.
All praises belong to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he is the Father of tender mercy and the God of endless comfort. He always comes alongside us to comfort us in every suffering so that we can come alongside those who are in any painful trial. We can bring them this same comfort that God has poured out upon us.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 TPT
Second, when we share our marriage stories, we can give other couples hope. We went through a long season of struggle because of our personality differences. We each wanted to change the other, which of course never works. Gradually, we learned to appreciate our differences and lean in toward each other. Now we are able to share what we learned and give other couples hope that they can be better together.
Whatever was written beforehand is meant to instruct us in how to live. The Scriptures impart to us encouragement and inspiration so that we can live in hope and endure all things.
Romans 15:4 TPT
Finally, our marriage stories can equip others for life. Some of the couples we mentor are engaged or newly married. We love equipping them with some of our hard-earned lessons. We hope they will have a better start than we did.
I will stand on my guard post and station myself on the rampart; and I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me, and how I may reply when I am reproved. Then the Lord answered me and said, “Record the vision and inscribe it on tablets, that the one who reads it may run.”
Habakkuk 2:1-2 NASB
How Does Telling your Marriage Story Impact Other Couples?
When we are open about our own struggles other couples will be encouraged to be open about their stories too. Being real about your failures will make you more relatable to others who are struggling. The couples we mentor often tell us they are relieved to know we aren’t perfect. We never want to give that impression!
Openness is engaging and is a prerequisite to redemption. Hiding and shame will never lead to healing.
In a scene from our novel, Love on Life Support, marriage mentor Linda shares a meal with our protagonist, Amy. Linda and her husband, Jim, have recently celebrated their forty-third wedding anniversary. When Linda shares that her marriage isn’t perfect, Amy is hungry to hear more.
“Wow, forty-three years? That’s amazing! It seems like an impossible dream for us.” Amy put her fork down and tried to sound happy for her marriage mentor. “I admire you and Jim. He seems totally devoted to you, and he loves God. You have the perfect marriage.”
Linda laughed out loud. “There are no perfect marriages. We do get along most days now, but it wasn’t always that way. We had a lot of struggles for many years of our marriage.” She paused, setting her fork down. “There was a time when I wasn’t confident we would make it to twenty-five years, let alone forty-three.”
“Seriously? I never would have guessed. What happened?”
Love on Life Support
Why your Marriage Story may not be Complete Until you Share it
Consider your own marriage story. You may have gone through a difficult time, and looking back you can see how God redeemed the situation. You and your spouse grew closer to God and closer to each other. But the story may not be complete until you tell it.
Telling your story causes us to lean on God even more. Am I courageous enough to tell my story? And who needs to hear my story? There just might be someone waiting to be encouraged by your story.
Four Confirmations that you’re Ready to Tell your Marriage Story
Before we tell our stories, consider if the time is right. Here are four confirmations that you’re ready to tell the story.
First, have you had time to process it? Have you grown spiritually as a result of the situation? Make sure the story isn’t too new or too raw.
Second, can you speak about it without a lot of emotionalism? A few tears is okay, but uncontrollable weeping or anger is a sign that there is still some healing needed.
Third, are you tempted to portray yourself as a victim in the story? Are you just as comfortable sharing your own failures and how you’ve personally grown to be more Christ-like because of the situation? Along with this, is your spouse willing for you to share the story? Will he participate with you in the telling if it’s appropriate?
And finally, are there “bad guys” in your story, people outside your marriage? If so, have you forgiven them? Your telling of the story should not be for the purpose of retribution or getting even. Are you committed to keeping personal information about other people private?
Are you Ready to Tell your Marriage Story?
God filled the Bible with stories, knowing that our brains really wake up and pay attention to stories. He taught many life lessons through the power of story.
Your story may not be just about you and your spouse. And your marriage story may not be complete until you tell the story. The telling of your story may be part of your story!
You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
2 Corinthians 3:2-3 NIV
Is there a marriage story in your heart that’s just waiting to be shared with someone who needs encouragement? If you don’t have a marriage mentoring program at your church, we suggest talking to your pastor to find out if there is a younger couple who would love to have mentors. Or better yet, ask your pastor if you could help start a mentoring program. Visit our Marriage Champion page for help.