There have been times in my marriage when I could see us like this prickly pair. Getting close to one another can sometimes feel like hugging a hedgehog. That’s when it’s time to get on your knees and start praying for your marriage.
Don’t Ignore your Feelings
You might have believed that to be a Christian, you must ignore your furious feelings because they aren’t important. It’s better to just ignore them, and they will go away.
I tried that for years, but it didn’t work. Pretending my negative feelings weren’t bugging me lead to insomnia and gut issues among other things, no matter how many Bible verses I memorized.
I decided to stop stuffing my emotions and listen to them instead.
Jesus had negative emotions, he expressed many of them. Anger, pain, fear, and grief were just a few. God designed us to feel, that’s what makes us human. We are wired to feel deeply, positive as well as negative emotions. Our negative emotions are designed to alert us that something is wrong.
When my emotions are negative and relentless, keeping me up at night and causing me to fret all day long, that’s when I know I need to do some work. I am probably entertaining thoughts that don’t come from Jesus. He came to give us abundant, joyfilled life.
The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).
John 10:10 AMPC
Wonder about your Feelings
Sometimes it takes me a while before I realize I’m fretting (again). That’s when I start asking God to help me explore these negative emotions. I wonder about them, ask Him questions.
- I am tempted to think my spouse made me feel this way, but I know I am in control of my own feelings. What do my feelings teach me about myself?
- What led me to feel this way in this circumstance?
- What is my spouse feeling right now? How have I contributed to those feelings?
- What brought him to feel this way in this circumstance?
Praying for your Marriage
I have a new tool, a 30 day Marriage Mentor Prayer Calendar. There are two sides of the calendar. One side to pray for your spouse, and one side to pray for you.
The prayer calendar can help you get started in growing to evaluate and heal those negative emotions that have plagued you for too long. And replace them with life-giving, joy-filled abundant emotions that you were designed to enjoy in Jesus.
Click to download the Marriage Mentor Prayer Calendar.