Marriage Monday post! Most people marry someone very different from themselves. That’s true for us, and apparently it was true for the very first couple – Adam and Eve. Here are some timeless lessons about Adam & Eve: personality wise, and how they can apply to our marriages today.
The Creation
God’s story of creation is found in Genesis chapters 1 and 2. Without getting into your particular interpretation of the days of creation, whether they were literal 24 hour days, or symbolic long periods of time, we will assume that God did create the universe and everything in it.
The last work of creation was man, the crowning glory of God’s achievement. Creatures made in His image, in His likeness, built for a special relationship. He cupped the man’s face in His mighty hands and gently breathed life into Adam. He placed the man into a beautiful space, the Garden of Eden. That’s where we join the story…
Then the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath or spirit of life, and man became a living being. And the Lord God planted a garden toward the east, in Eden [delight]; and there He put the man whom He had formed (framed, constituted). And out of the ground the Lord God made to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight or to be desired—good (suitable, pleasant) for food; the tree of life also in the center of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of [the difference between] good and evil and blessing and calamity.
Genesis 2:7-9 AMPC
God gave Adam one responsibility – to take care of the Garden of Eden. Adam also had one rule – not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. And God gave Adam a task – to name all of the animals.
Adam’s Personality
We’re going to make some assumptions about Adam’s personality – so bear with us. Adam probably never took a test like Personality Key, but we can learn something about Adam’s personality from the clues given in Genesis.
- God trusted Adam with the responsibility of taking care of the beautiful garden, so Adam was probably dependable.
- God could have waited for more people to be around before He enacted the one rule, but He didn’t. He gave the one rule (not to eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil) to Adam alone. So Adam was probably considered to be obedient and trustworthy, to be obedient to follow that rule and to share that one rule in the future with other people.
- Interestingly, the Hebrew word for male is zakar, which means “to remember, to call to mind, to be mindful.” So we can assume that God considered Adam to be good at remembering, to be mindful and pay attention.
- The job of naming all the animals was not a simple task. In order for the names to make sense, Adam had to be very observant, noticing whether the creature was a mammal, reptile, bird, etc. He had to divide the animals into groups, such as phylum or species. So Adam was probably detail-oriented and observant.
- Adam was the only man at this time, so he had to work alone at his task. He also finished the task in one day, so he was diligent. I’m sure you will agree Adam was the ideal employee; detail-oriented, responsible, observant, and conscientious.
The First Couple
As God created each element, He would say it was good. The first time God said it is not good was when He saw Adam was alone.
Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.
Genesis 2:18 AMPC
You probably know the story – right? God put Adam to sleep and took one of his ribs to create Eve. A partner, an equal taken not from his foot to be below him, nor his head to be above him, but from a rib to be next to him as a partner suitable, adapted and complementary to him.
The word suitable can be thought of as opposite, matching, or like puzzle pieces fitting together. We know that men and women’s brains are very different from each other, they are complementary, suited for different tasks. It’s only when they work together that the giftedness of each partner can shine and create a synergistic effect, the two becoming better together.
But, if you know the rest of the story, Adam and Eve didn’t exactly become better together…
The Serpent’s Personality
The next installation in the story is the entrance, stage left, of the serpent!
Now the serpent was more subtle and crafty than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And he [Satan] said to the woman, Can it really be that God has said, You shall not eat from every tree of the garden?
Genesis 3:1 AMPC
The serpent is usually thought of as Satan, or the devil. And his personality is more subtle and crafty than any other creature. Formidable! The devil is also called the Father of Lies, and he uses lies as his most effective weapon against God.
It’s interesting to notice the serpent approaches Eve, not Adam. He addresses Eve specifically. Since he is crafty and subtle, he must have known something about Adam and Eve’s personalities, choosing Eve because he believed he would accomplish his goal of getting her to believe a lie about God.
The Serpent’s Conversation with Eve
And, of course, the first thing out of his sly mouth is intended to get Eve to question God. Here’s how I picture that conversation starting.
Hey girlfriend, could it possibly be that this cruel god would put all these beautiful trees in this garden and then not let you have any of the luscious fruit? You can’t be serious, who would ever trust a god like that?
the serpent, my interpretation of Genesis 3:1
Here’s how the rest of the conversation went.
And the woman said to the serpent, We may eat the fruit from the trees of the garden, except the fruit from the tree which is in the middle of the garden. God has said, You shall not eat of it, neither shall you touch it, lest you die. But the serpent said to the woman, You shall not surely die, For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing the difference between good and evil and blessing and calamity. And when the woman saw that the tree was good (suitable, pleasant) for food and that it was delightful to look at, and a tree to be desired in order to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate;
Genesis 3:2-6a AMPC
Eve’s Personality
Eve did know they could eat fruit from the other trees, but she embellished the One Rule. God never said they couldn’t touch the fruit.
The serpent then sells his best lie: you will surely not die! He casts doubt on God’s truthfulness. Then he goes on to say they will become like God, casting doubt on God’s goodness because He is holding back something good from them. Which is interesting because God clearly stated in creation that man was in His image, in His likeness. They were already ‘like God.’
Finally, Eve starts calculating. She sees that the tree was good for food (all the trees in the garden were), that it was delightful to look at (all the trees in the garden were), and it was desirable to make her wise, so she ate the fruit.
Here are some guesses about Eve’s personality.
- She was probably more outgoing and social than Adam, more likely to talk to strangers. Maybe she was getting tired of just having Adam to talk to and wanted more friends? Maybe she was more trusting or even naive about unsafe people?
- She probably wasn’t detail-oriented or dependable. We have to assume that detail-oriented, dependable Adam had repeated the One Rule accurately to Eve. But for some reason she either wasn’t listening (was she talking at the same time as Adam?) or she didn’t think it was important, or maybe she was a maverick who believed the rules didn’t apply to her?
- Eve was enticed by having more; more good fruit, more beautiful food, and more knowledge. Maybe she was less satisfied with the status quo, and got bored easily.
One Bad Decision
What happens next is interesting, because it appears that Adam was right there the entire time, listening in on the conversation, but not contributing to the decision.
And when the woman saw that the tree was good (suitable, pleasant) for food and that it was delightful to look at, and a tree to be desired in order to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate; and she gave some also to her husband, and he ate.
Genesis 3:6 AMPC
Eve impulsively took a bite without consulting her mate.
Who was the leader in this relationship? Adam was the one who was dependable, good at remembering, and conscientious. God entrusted him with the One Rule. Yet, he stood by and let his wife make this important decision without intervening. It could be that Adam was more passive, reluctant to lead. Perhaps he was indecisive and had a fear of conflict, causing him to stand silent.
It’s clear this couple didn’t work together, using their respective gifts to the best advantage! When you look at the personality interactions between the First Couple, it’s not hard to see how they botched the most important decision of their lives.
Eve could have been the more aggressive one in the partnership. She may have had little respect for Adam and didn’t bother to consult him. Adam, on the other hand, had received a mandate from God but failed to enforce it, standing by waiting for her to make a move. And then he went ahead and took a bite of the fruit himself!
You can almost picture Adam standing there, holding Eve’s purse, can’t you?
Who is to Blame?
Who do you think is to blame for Adam and Eve’s failure to work together?
- If Eve had stopped to ask Adam first, he could have told her the one rule again. Scripture tells us Eve was the one who was deceived, Adam wasn’t deceived, but knew the truth all along.
- If Adam had stepped in and intervened, he could have stopped Eve from making that fatal mistake. And he could have refused to eat the fruit himself as well!
And it was not Adam who was deceived, but [the] woman who was deceived and deluded and fell into transgression.
1 Timothy 2:14 AMPC
Clearly, Adam and Eve could have worked together to pass this temptation by the serpent. But they failed to work together, they are both at fault.
God pronounced a consequence for both of them, but I’ll save the rest of the story for another post.
How Can our Marriage be Better: Personality Wise?
If you are like Bruce and I, you are quite different from your spouse. In fact, about 70% of couples differ in every aspect of personality, from research by Prepare-Enrich.
Try taking my personality quiz, Personality Key. Then compare your results with each other. The information that is provided will give you insights into your partner, his strengths, his possible weaknesses, and his emotional needs.
Commit to honoring and respecting each other’s differences, and becoming better together, as God intended.