A year ago we crafted a marriage mission statement so we could live intentionally in retirement. Our desire is to live in such a way that our kids and grandkids would be inspired to live their lives with purpose and intention. This winter, during COVID, we were challenged: can we really see it through, staying on course with our marriage mission?
Living Intentionally
Our intention for our marriage is to continue to grow and learn and serve others for as long as we can. When Bruce retired, we decided we needed to go against the grain and be intentional about how we lived out our lives.
The culture for retirement seems to be all about self: I’ve put in my years of work and now I get to do anything I want. Many of our fellow baby-boomers move to warm climates, living in senior-only communities. They spend their days pleasing themselves and just enjoying the fruits of their labor.
The problem with that is, according to Scripture, it’s a recipe for disaster.
Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]–blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he.
Proverbs 29:18 AMPC
Failure to live to a vision of redemption in God leads to less blessing, happiness, fortune, and an unenviable lifestyle. Our culture has expectations for retirement that are not being realized.
In our culture, we see a trend among seniors of depression and lonliness, alcoholism, and STDs. Our baby-boomer generation is the only demographic whose divorce rate is currently rising. Every other generation is experiencing a flattening of the divorce curve. The number of people over 65 comprises only 13% of the American public, yet the suicide rate tops 20% for our demographic.
We all live intentionally, but what do we live intentionally for? Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of travel and sitting on beaches. And our lives have become more relaxed in retirement. But we also keep our eyes focused on living intentionally for God.
Our Marriage Mission Statement
Ever since we created the poster above with the words from our marriage mission statement (we used Personalization Mall), we’ve had it hanging in our house in a prominent place.
I like to use the short title, “Stay Fresh” for our statement, and Bruce likes to use “Faithful.” And the verse that we chose sums it all up:
They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.
Psalm 92:14
This winter, the unthinkable happened with Bruce’s health. Here are some posts I wrote about our journey.
- When you Need a Health-Care Advocate
- Still in the Waiting
- When Little Things Become Big Things
- What Do You Do When You Have a Bad Day?
I was so grateful that we had taken the time and energy to work on a marriage mission statement. Now I had something to remind me of who I was and what we were about. I needed to be reminded every day!
The morning before Bruce’s first brain surgery, I called him and reminded him of our mission. I read the Scripture below to him. I printed a copy of our marriage mission statement and the nurse put it up on the wall for him to see.
How God Designed us to Think
Be cheerful with joyous celebration in every season of life. Let joy overflow, for you are united with the Anointed One! Let gentleness be seen in every relationship, for our Lord is very near. Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will make the answers known to you through Jesus Christ. So keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always.
Philippians 4:4-8 TPT
Our mission kept us comforted and strengthened during our ordeal. We knew there was a higher purpose, and felt the strength of Jesus building us up.
We were committed to staying on course with our marriage mission.
Staying the Course and Seeing the Work of God
In one conversation I had with Bruce during his hospital stay, he was asking about how long he had been there. When I told him he was shocked. For much of the time, he wasn’t aware and had no idea so much time had passed.
He expressed that it was a waste of time. I think God looks at it differently.
I felt God saying this episode wasn’t wasted time or lost time… it was His most productive time. God flip flops the world’s belief system.
Sitting around in a hospital bed trying to recover from two serious surgeries sounds like a tragic story. But in God’s plan, it was not a tragedy but an incredible blessing.
We were able to share so much of what God was doing and will continue to do. We know there are still more stories to come out of our situation, and are asking God to show us how we can use this story for His glory.
Not being able to be mentoring couples, but being side-tracked during this time feels like a waste of time. But in God’s plan, it is a super-energized productive time. God probably accomplished much more during this time we consider “wasted” than we could have if we had gone right on mentoring couples.
This year my word is Flourish, and my verse is Luke 8:15. I am thankful for the fruit I’ve already seen as we were staying the course with our marriage mission statement, and I’m looking forward to even more abundance to come.
Finish the Race Well
I love the movie “The Book of Eli,” partly because it’s an awesome story and partly because one of my favorite actors, Denzel Washington, stars in it. It’s a story of Eli’s journey through a race to the end of his life, staying the course on his mission. Here’s his prayer at the end of the movie:
Dear Lord, thank you for giving me the strength and the conviction to complete the task you entrusted to me. Thank you for guiding me straight and true through the many obstacles in my path, and keeping me resolute when all around seemed lost. Thank you for your protection and your many signs along the way. Thank you for any good I may have done, and I’m so sorry about the bad. Thank you for the friend I made. Please watch over her as you have watched over me. Thank you for finally allowing me to rest. I am so very tired. But I go now to my rest, at peace, knowing that I have done right in my time on this Earth, I fought the good fight. I finished the race. I kept the faith.
Eli from The Book of Eli
May that be our prayer as well.