One of the most common things we hear from couples is, “In our marriage we spend more time on the children than our relationship.” But there is a time for everything in marriage. Everything important, that is.
What’s Important?
Sports seems to be the most common time consumer in the families we know. Travel teams are enormously expensive in terms of money, time, and marital closeness. Of course there are many other things that consume our time – jobs, household duties, extended family, and of course raising kids.
What are your goals as a couple? To raise soccer stars or to raise stable kids who feel secure enough to pursue their God-given identity?
While there are many things competing for your time, there’s no greater gift you can give your kids than a stable, loving marriage.
What’s of FIRST Importance?
Sports for kids are important, but are they of FIRST importance in your life? Is there enough margin for both a stable home life and a busy sports schedule?
Concentrate on first doing the right things, then on doing things right. There is nothing so wasteful as doing the wrong things well.
Peter Drucker
Every once in a while, it’s good to stop and take stock of how your family is spending time. Your marriage needs attention, but I think we often let that slide in favor of the kid’s schedules. We justify it because all the other kids are doing sports, or because we feel that prepares them well for life.
Those are all good reasons for having kids in sports, but is that of First Importance?
If your marriage is in crisis your kids will be greatly affected by the atmosphere at home. Having a great coach cannot make up for having parents who have a great marriage.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NIV