Jesus said it is better to give than receive, right? Is it always better to give? Don’t we also need to learn how to be good receivers of gifts? What do you think?
Better to Give than Receive
The Bible has many things to say about our need to give. Sometimes our giving is financial, and sometimes it is more supportive and comforting. We are asked to carry each other’s burdens, for instance. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2 NIV).
God is the giver of every good gift, and we are to grow as Christians to be like him by following his example. “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights” (James 1:17 NIV).
Paul wrote that Jesus said it is better to give than receive, although this quote from Jesus is not found in the Gospels. “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’” (Acts 20:35 NIV).
It makes God smile when we give to others. “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7 NIV).
My aging mother gave a lot to us as we were growing up. She sacrificed physically, emotionally, financially, and intellectually to raise us. She gave up her sleep, her goals, and sometimes her sanity to produce four daughters who, in her words, are perfect in every way.
Mom is now nearing the end of her life. In the past few years, and especially now in hospice, Mom is receiving more than giving. And it is good. As an independent woman, Mom didn’t receive much. She had an incredible work ethic, she literally never sat down. And if she ever did relax at the end of the day, she immediately fell asleep.
But now it’s different. And it is blessed. Mom is receiving love from me in a way I was never able to express it and have it received before. Our roles have totally switched at this point, and I realize it is blessed to me to give love to her. However it is just as blessed to have my love received by her.
[Tweet “I can’t give love unless the other person receives it.”]
Sometimes we have the mistaken idea that we must give, and give, and give, without ever receiving.
- Some think they don’t deserve gifts.
- Some think there is an ulterior motive in gifts, and skeptically refuses them.
- Some think they don’t need anything from anyone.
Receiving gifts requires humility. Receiving requires admitting I have a need. Receiving a gift blesses the giver. It isn’t more blessed to give than receive – if the receiver refuses to receive.
Better to Receive than Give
Some have made the error of thinking they need to give to everyone, even God. The scriptures that speak about our need to give never refer to our giving to God.
God is the only good giver of gifts. We can only receive gifts from God. So, sometimes, it is better to receive than give. If God is the giver.
When referring to the sacrifice of Jesus, we can only receive. Nothing we do can earn the incredible gift of salvation. No amount of giving financially, no amount of hard work serving, no amount of investment emotionally can produce the gift of salvation.
“But as many as received him, to them he gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in his name” (John 1:12 NIV).
Just like we are frustrated when we cannot give to someone who won’t receive, does God get frustrated when he offers his free gift and we don’t receive it? Jesus expressed his sadness at Jerusalem refusing to receive the truth of who he was.
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing. Look, your house is left to you desolate” (Luke 13: 34-35 NIV).
Joyce Meyer writes, “If you’re struggling with life, chances are you haven’t freely received God’s gifts.” Receiving God’s gift of salvation and holiness requires us to be humble and admit our need. It means coming to God with arms wide and hands open and empty.
When God is the giver, it is better to receive than to give.
Receiving Enables us to Give
All good gifts come from God. Love is the best of all the good gifts. And love originated with God. We only have the capacity to love because he first loved us.
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God… This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us…We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:7, 10, 19 NIV).
It’s only when we learn to become good receivers of gifts that we are able to turn and give gifts to others. We can’t give away what we have never received first.
As children, we do a lot of receiving. I know I did, selfishly wanting everything. No one ever has to teach their child to say “Mine!” When a parent can give love unselfishly to a child, the child gradually learns to receive that love. Then they are equipped to give love unselfishly to others.
That worked its way through my family. With Mom giving so willingly to us, she taught us to receive love, and then in turn give it to our children. And some of us now have grandchildren, who are receiving love from their parents.
And we’ve come full circle with Mom, so her children and grandchildren are giving back to her. During the time Mom was hospitalized, my kids pitched in and went to work. This happened just before Christmas. My son came up from Ohio for a weekend, my daughter and son in law spent a day at the house. The kids cleaned my house, ironed my clothes, got groceries, and even wrapped their own presents. They sat with Grandma in the hospital, they fielded calls, they were amazing. I had to let them give, I had no choice. But it was blessed.
Someday it will be my turn, receiving more than I can give to my children. That’s when I will have to rely on my humility and grace. This process is already gradually beginning, as my kids are competent adults who don’t need as much from us as they once did. Someday I will experience that it’s more blessed to receive than to give.
…because U count, deb