Joining a small group can be one of the easiest ways to make couple friends. Fall is a great time to find new groups opening up in your church, or you could start one yourself. Read on for some great recommendations.
Read more: Make Couple Friends in Small Groups – Includes RecommendationsWhy is it Important to make couple friends?
In the years we’ve been mentoring married couples at our church, we’ve helped almost a hundred couples find the best resource for their marriage. One of the tools we use is the Prepare-Enrich marriage assessment. In sharing the results of their assessment, we noticed that most of these couples agree that they have trouble making new couple friends.
Google “why can’t we make couple friends,” and you will see 1.8 billion entries! Looks like lots of people have the same struggles. Basically, people feel bad when they don’t have friends because we are built for community. Having community as a married couple helps you keep things in perspective; it builds joy and connection. Here’s a short video about the importance of having community as a married couple.
But, instead of delving into why you can’t make friends, let’s just skip to how you can make friends.
Church small groups or life groups provide a simple and easy way to get to know other couples. Not only are groups loads of fun, but they also create a safe space where deeper discussion can grow in an organic way. By their very nature, a small group is less superficial and more genuine.
We love that groups can get a couple talking about topics they never discussed before, even after the group has ended. So, a small group can influence the oneness in your relationship as you study the Bible together. This short video reveals why you should study the Bible together.
This fall we researched some of our favorite studies to help couples lead or find a group at our church. You can find the results of our research below. As you read through the list, can you picture you and your spouse leading a study? Or joining one?
Vertical Marriage by Dave and Ann Wilson
We love Dave and Ann Wilson. Not only are they founders of our church, but, full disclosure, our daughter married their amazing son. We are blessed to know them personally and can honestly tell you they are just as genuine and real in person as they are as hosts for Family Life Today. Their book, Vertical Marriage, was published in 2021, and their study soon followed.
The theme of their study is that your marriage will be stronger if you go vertical first, indicating your relationship with Jesus. There are five sessions of the study, and each one has a video when you purchase the study through Family Life. Dave and Ann are funny and really honest in their presentations. The topics include:
- The Elusive Secret
- Fight Me Like a Man
- To Cheer and to Cherish
- God in the Bedroom
- All in!
There is a leader kit to help you lead a small group, along with a DVD (and links to the online files) of the trainings. Click here for the Leader Guide. Click here for the workbooks (need 1 per person).
Love Like you Mean It by Bob Lepine
Bob Lepine was a former co-host of Family Life Today, and you might have heard him on the radio alongside Dennis Rainey, or in tune with Alistair Begg on Truth For Life. His voice is familiar to us, and his warmth can be felt in his words. Bob’s Love Like You Mean It was published in 2020.
The theme of Love Like You Mean It is the Heart of a Marriage which Honors God. In the book he covers the nine “love is” qualities of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. His videos have many cameo appearances of couples sharing honestly about their marriages interspersed with Bob’s teachings on each topic. We really love that this study comes with a quiz, called the LoveQuiz. This assessment will reveal how each spouse scores in each of the 10 areas of marriage intended to honor God. If you were leading this small group and didn’t have time to do all ten sessions, you could choose the ones where the couples had the greatest need.
We laughed when comparing our scores from the LoveQuiz. For instance, I scored 100% in “easygoing,” and let’s just say that was Bruce’s lowest score. Bruce scored very high in “honesty, but it was my lowest score! We’re sure couples will enjoy taking the quiz and then deciding which of the following ten sessions they want to study.
- Everything Minus Love = Nothing
- Love is Patient
- Love is Kind
- Love is Humble
- Love is Generous
- Love is Easy Going
- Love is Virtuous
- Love is Honest
- Love is Tenacious
- Love Never Fails
There is a leader kit to help you lead a group, along with a DVD (and links to the online files). Click here for the Leader Guide. Click here for the workbooks (need 1 per person).
Us in Mind by Ted Lowe
Ted Lowe tells everyone he has ADHD, and looking at his resume you’d understand. He’s been at a number of large churches, written three books, and started a marriage movement that our church benefits from. He’s currently part of Family First, a community of people who help families love well. His third book, Us in Mind, was written in 2022.
The theme of Us in Mind is how changing your thoughts can change your marriage. He combines Scripture and neuroscience as he delves into how we think about our spouse and our marriage. It’s an interesting topic, one that I’ve been fascinated by. There are seven sessions in this study, and the trailer as well as the videos are available free on Right Now Media. He’s an energetic speaker and has a great sense of humor. The session topics include:
- What do you Think it Takes to Have a Great Marriage?
- What do you Think about Yourself?
- What do you Think about your Spouse?
- What do you Think about your Spouse’s Emotions?
- What do you Think is the Purpose of Marriage?
- What do you Think is Possible?
Us in Mind has a few discussion questions at the end of each chapter, so there’s no need to purchase a book and a workbook. Click here to find Us in Mind.
Unlocking an Intimate Marriage by Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn
Shaunti Feldhahn has written many marriage books based on her excellent research skills, including For Men Only and For Women Only. Her latest book, The Secrets of Sex & Marriage, was written with sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma and published in early 2023. We were part of the launch team for the book, and were also honored that Shaunti endorsed our novel, Love on Life Support. This brand new study, Unlocking an Intimate Marriage, was just released this month.
The theme of Unlocking an Intimate Marriage is to build a stronger, closer, more intimate marriage. There are eight sessions, which are divided into Part I and Part II. Part I is appropriate for a small group because it addresses intimacy in communication, attitudes, and vision. Part II gently addresses common issues of physical intimacy in marriage, and may be more appropriate for the couples to do alone. The session topics include:
- Reclaim your First Love
- Keep Communication Patterns Clear
- Grow your Heart Attitudes
- Build a Shared Vision
- Energize the Process of Desire
- Be Purposeful about Desire
- Learn how to Initiate and Enjoy
- Practice the Art of Invitation
You can find the workbooks and links to the videos by clicking Unlocking an Intimate Marriage. The videos are available on Right Now Media and for those whose churches don’t subscribe, they are also available through the website above.
Ready to Make New Couple Friends?
This is just a small sample of many great marriage studies available. Be encouraged to take a leap and join a study or even host one yourselves. Your marriage will be blessed either way!