Saying Farewell to a True-Blue Gentleman

This month we said goodbye to a True-Blue Gentleman, my ninety-two year old father-in-law Bob, who became my second dad 44 years ago. I only knew my birth father for 40 years before I had to say goodbye to him. On my wedding day as I walked down the aisle with Bruce I had no idea how important his dad was going to become to me.

All of us agreed Bob could be described as a true-blue gentleman. Webster’s describes true-blue as someone who is steady, loyal, and unwaveringly faithful. A good man, someone devoted and dedicated. A man of his word. That was Bob.

A Man of his Word

Being a man of his word-he meant what he said and he said what he meant. Bob never told you what you wanted to hear. Years ago when we got serious about our faith we had some conversations with Bob. Bruce followed up with a letter to his dad about the difference Jesus had made in his life. Bob’s response was short and to the point. “I believe, I just don’t want to talk about it.” We took him at his word because we knew we could. And we honored his wishes.

Always Prepared

Bob was always prepared and ready to help. He was generous when he saw a need. He was truly a member of “The Greatest Generation.” Every day he placed a hanky in his breast pocket so he could be ready to help a damsel in distress. Three years ago I came to help him when he had a cancer biopsy. During that time my mom passed away. Even though Bob was still recovering, he wasn’t going to let me drive the six hours alone to get back to Michigan. “You are not going alone-I’m going with you!” He was packed and ready in half an hour. He saw a need and he took care of it quietly and without fanfare. That’s just how he rolled.

Faithful

Bob was faithful to his word. He and Shirley were married for fifty-five years. For most of that time Shirley took care of Bob. But their roles were reversed when Shirley struggled with dementia. Despite the huge challenges Bob kept her at home, making many self-sacrifices.

Respectful

Bob was unfailingly respectful and courteous. It took a lot to get him riled up. But when his favorite fast-food restaurant started serving French fries with skins on, he reached his breaking point. He carefully ate the fries but left all the bits of skin in the container. He marched back up to the counter with the hated skins and told the employee, “Where I come from we feed these to the pigs!” That story always gave us a big laugh, it was so uncharacteristic of Bob.

Blue Hankies for True-Blue Gentlemen

For Bob’s 90th birthday I bought blue hankies for all the men in the family. A blue hanky was a fitting symbol of his character – a true-blue gentleman. I challenged our men to remember Bob and to live out his legacy of being a true-blue gentleman themselves.

When Bruce and I walked down the aisle on our wedding day I thought I had scored the best true-blue gentleman. I imagined all the adventures we would enjoy together. I dreamed of all we would accomplish together. All that and so much more was true. But what I never expected was the rich influence of Bob, an original true-blue gentleman.

Rest In peace, Dad.

“By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.”

Matthew 7:16-18 NIV

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