Marriage Monday: Are you Married to a Personality like Moses?

What would it be like to be married to Moses from the Bible? Moses had a meticulous but moody personality. Was that a challenge to Mrs. Moses? Are you married to someone like Moses?

Biblical Personalities are the Same as our Personalities

Each person has a personality, and the personalities of ancient people are the same as ours. God created every person in His image. He gives wonderful personality gifts to all of us. Our gifts allow us to advance God’s kingdom on earth. But because we are imperfect people, each of us is apt to take those wonderful gifts to an extreme until they become weaknesses, or garbage.

Many researchers have sorted personalities into four basic categories. This is not to mean that there are only four types of people. All people are a blend of all four personalities, but one or two are much more preferred in each person.

Personality Key is a free test to gauge what your preferences are. The four categories are Sanguine Heart, Phlegmatic Soul, Melancholy Mind, and Choleric Strength. The test includes valuable information to help you understand and blossom in your preferred personality.

We are complex people. Besides personality, many factors go into making us who we are, including gender, birth order, environment, culture, economics, education, language… Well, the list could go on and on.

The result of knowing personalities for me was not to put anyone in a box, but to let them out of my box. I used to think, “People would be better off if they were just like me.” I discovered how wrong that was when I started to see the amazing gifts of people who are different from me.

What was Moses Like?

When Moses was a baby, his people were in slavery in Egypt. To save his life, his mother put him in a basket and let him go in the river. The royal family of Egypt adopted Moses and raised him as their own. They gave Moses the best education so he could be a leader and a scholar. But when God called him to lead his birth family, the Israelites, he balked.

Moses’ preferred personality style was a blend of melancholy mind and phlegmatic soul. He was introverted, and pessimistic. He was cautious and careful, weighing all the pros and cons before agreeing to something. And he was humble, faithful to God and his people.

Like all of us, Moses had positives and negatives in his personality. He was moody, fearful and resistant to taking leadership. But once he bought into the plan, Moses relied on his meticulous gifts to become a giant in the biblical world.

Imagine yourself as Mrs. Moses. How would she have responded to the circumstances in Moses’ life?

Moody Moses had garbage

Moses famous encounter with God at the burning bush (Exodus 3-4) left him shaking in his shoes. God spoke to Moses and asked him to accept a big role, to lead his people out of Egypt. Moses replied with a series of moody attitudes and questions that revealed his inner fear.

• Moses hid his face because he was afraid to look at God
• Moses wanted to know “Who am I that I should lead these people?”
• Moses also wanted to know – “Who should I say sent me?”
• Moses then asked, “What if they don’t believe me?”
• Finally, Moses pleaded incompetence, because he had never been eloquent and failed speech 101 in school.

Each time God answered Moses, but eventually God became angry at Moses. Some scholars believe Moses was unsure of his Hebrew language, since he had only spoken it as a young child. But God invited Moses, and we can assume God knew Moses had it in him to say yes. God allowed Moses’ brother Aaron to step in and be the spokesman for Moses.

When Mrs. Moses caught wind of this amazing opportunity for her husband, how do you think she reacted? We don’t really know how this all went down in the Moses household. But I wonder if  Moses might have been more confident when God invited him to lead if Mrs. Moses had been a cheerleader for her husband? We never know when our spouse might be called by God, and how much our previous relationship may influence them to confidently say, “Yes, Lord, here I am.” 

Meticulous Moses had gifts

Once Moses bought into the plan, and with the assurance that Aaron would co-lead, Moses stayed faithful to his assignment to the end of his life. Moses came to rely on many of his gifts as he lead the people for 40 years.

•  He was the only person to whom God spoke face to face.
• Moses relied on his gifts of detail orientation and conscientiousness to write the first 5 books of the bible, the history books.
• Moses was given the privilege of receiving the 10 Commandments from God and delivering them to the people.
• His perfectionism allowed the Israelites to build the Tabernacle in the wilderness, and tear it down and rebuilt it countless times as they moved about for 40 years. He also taught them to follow the sacrificial system.
• Moses served God faithfully and sacrificially all the days of his life. He eventually became a great leader, even if he began as a reluctant leader.

Encouragement for those Married to Someone like Moses

Are you married to someone like Moses? Do they struggle with fear about the unknown? Can they get stuck in analysis paralysis? Is decision making and goal achievement difficult for them?

If this sounds like your spouse, the greatest gift you can give them is encouragement. Both of these styles can struggle with self-doubt and fear of the unknown. Most people marry someone very different from themselves, so you may not share your spouse’s reluctance to lead, achieve, and decide. Shaming them for not having these traits will only make matters worse. 

When you pray for your spouse, ask God to show you ways to build them up and encourage them to be all that God created them to be. Tell your spouse how much they mean to you, often. Look for positive things to praise them for, and talk them up to friends and family. Be their biggest cheerleader!

God is so faithful! His deepest desire is for your spouse to achieve all that He designed them for. Moses struggled with things that your spouse might be struggling with. And yet he became a giant in Biblical history, writing the first five books of the Bible.

Even in our brokenness, if we are willing to say yes to Him, He can do amazing things in our lives. If your spouse is being called to a role of leadership, help them debate the pros and cons. But gently encourage them that, at a certain point, it is time to jump in and let God take care of the unknowns.

He’s really good at that!