I usually follow a pattern when something’s bothering me. I go to my Father and ask Him for guidance. I thought I would share them with you.
What’s Bothering Me?
Lot’s of things bother me! How about you? It seems like the problems get so much worse in the middle of the night, when it’s quiet and still and there’s nothing to distract me from problems except the snoring at the other side of the bed.
This past winter I had quite a few sleepless nights, and many of those nights found me awake with my journal in hand. I thought I would just share my journal entries from one of those nights to illustrate the steps I take when I’m listening to God about what’s bothering me. Over the years I’ve learned that God is pretty smart, and even if I don’t totally get what’s bothering me, He does!
This was bothering me: Right after the Covid-19 pandemic lockdown this winter, we encountered a horrible situation of epic proportions. My husband Bruce was hospitalized for 30 days, undergoing two brain surgeries, which would be bad enough under normal circumstances. But during Covid-19 it meant I couldn’t even walk into the ER with him.
The night I had to drop him off at the ER door and drive away, I struggled with sleeplessness (DUH!). Here are the steps of listening prayer I employed. They’re the same steps I use no matter what the situation.
To Initiate Listening Prayer:
Before I start to initiate listening prayer with God, I make sure I pray a simple prayer first to make sure His voice is the only voice I hear. We have an enemy who would love to fill our minds with lies, and our own minds can go to all kinds of nutty places. Here’s a sample prayer, based on Scripture:
Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, according to Matthew 28:18 and Luke 10:19-20 I take authority over satan and his fallen angels and command that they be rendered deaf, dumb and blind to my prayers and removed from my presence. I place my own voice under subjection to the shed blood of Jesus and command that my own thoughts be taken captive to the obedience of Christ, according to 2 Corinthians 10:5.
https://god-guides.com/
1. Ask God what He wants me to Know
I like to ask God to tell me what emotion He wants to speak to me about. I am not always the best judge of my emotions, and I want to listen to what He needs to talk to me about. Also, I might be having many conflicting emotions. So I let Him pick what we will talk about and ask Him, “what emotion do you want to speak to me about?”
How is it possible that I’m awake at this hour on this momentous moment and I only have 3 pages left in this journal? Crickets playing on sound app. Nice warm heating pad on my aching shoulders. 3am – my “witching hour”, my old friend. How many countless nights have I been awake at this hour? But I’m learning – I know – I’m a slow learner. This time I’m listening, pen in hand to You.
Bruce is in the ICU during the COVID outbreak, I can’t go see him, he’s probably having brain surgery tomorrow. Ann asked last night how do you feel? I had no idea. I was numb.
So Jesus, I want to ask You – what emotion do you want to speak to me about here, now, at this hour?
2. Listen for His Answer
As I listened for God’s answer, I became aware that He wanted to speak to me about being “out of control.”
Out of control, frustrated. Out of control for sure. That this happens now after all these years when I can’t even get out of my car in front of the ER entrance. WHAT??? He gets out of the car as the nice nurse apologizes to me and I have to turn my head and sob because I can’t go IN!!!!
Alone in my car in the parking lot surrounded by cars like mine, engines running, heat on in this cold night. Trying to tell ourselves it’s OK. The warmth of the heater not quite reaching our hearts.
Out of control. Frustrated. What’s behind these feelings? I want to know what’s going on. I want to see the doc that’s going to treat Bruce. I want to see his face, look into his eyes. I feel out of control because I rely so much on non-verbals. I can’t even comprehend what the doc said over the speaker phone. Thank You God, Robin was there with me taking notes.
3. Agree with God and Tell Him the Truth
I examine my heart as I hear what God wants to speak to me about. He is so wise! I explore the emotions and think about the first time I remember feeling that way. I might ask God more questions at this point too. Sometimes I need more clarification, so I might ask Him, “What do you want me to know about that?”
So what is behind feeling out of control and frustrated – it’s not trusting YOU of course.
I first felt these emotions back at that mountain of a day when I felt alone and confused in my childhood. I didn’t know You then but You were there, weren’t You?
And You were there with Bruce last night and You will be there with him today. You have Bruce in the palm of Your mighty Hand.
You are my eyes, my ears, and my hands. You see all, not the limited version I have. You hear all, not the limited hearing I have. You hold all in the palms of Your Hands, you don’t have the frail small hands that I do. You chose this situation for Bruce to go through alone. The gauntlet is for him to walk.
Everything’s not about me. He’s having brain surgery without me. And that’s ok.
4. Ask God for a Reassuring Image to Help me Remember
When God teaches me something, I want to remember it! I make sure to keep a journal and write down what I heard from God. It’s so easy for me to forget, and God knows I need reminding, a lot! I also might ask Him for a picture of something, a visual illustration. I can remember objects better than words, so this helps me remember too.
What image represents these feelings? I saw a beach ball. It’s very light and easy to toss – even for my skinny weak arms. Things that feel so heavy to me are nothing at all to You. So I hold up the beach ball and I flick my finger against it and it goes soaring right into Your Hands. And You smile. “I’ve got this Deb!”
Listening to God Brings us Peace
During the next day, I could think about our conversation in the middle of the night and smile as I pictured a brightly colored beach ball soaring up in the blue sky. I can imagine what a beach ball feels like in my hands, and I’m so encouraged to think that to God, my problems are as light weight as all that.
Oh, and I slipped back to sleep and didn’t wake up all night. That’s peace that doesn’t make earthly sense. The kind of peace that Jesus wants to give each of us. Just ask Him!
Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 AMPC