Making God my Everything takes the pressure off my husband. He’s free to be my Something Pretty Special. Here are three ways I see that played out in my life and in my marriage.
My Identity vs. My Role
First, my identity comes from God, and my role is being a wife to my something pretty special husband.
I was created by God for a poetic purpose, I have an identity defined by Him. “Wife” is a role I love to fill for a time. But it’s not my identity. If I ever become a widow (we each want to die first), I will still have the same identity and purpose.
My husband isn’t my identity or purpose. He’s just a fellow misfit who also has an identity apart from me. When we understand who we truly are, we are far more likely to be the best spouse we can be.
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10 NIV
My Character
Second, God is at work inside of me to produce a beautiful character as I respond in humility and grace to my something pretty special husband in this messy life.
What’s inside of me comes out at the most inopportune times! When I say “my spouse makes me so mad,” I’m really saying what’s already inside of me came out. Truly, no one can make me mad.
God’s Spirit indwells me and makes me better equipped on the inside to fulfill my role as spouse. So I can take ownership of my “mad,” and change my responses to build our marriage up, not tear it down.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23 NIV
Our Oneness
Third, as my something pretty special husband and I each grow to be like Jesus, God weaves us into a mysterious oneness that points others to Himself.
Even if your husband isn’t oriented to God’s plan for his life, your attitude and behavior can change that. Instead of focusing on what he does wrong, focus on what you are doing right.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:31-32 NIV