It’s so easy to get caught up in life, each of us running 24-7. You just have to make moments count in your time-starved marriage.
The Time-Starved Marriage
Do you have a time-starved marriage? We remember what it was like when the stress of a busy life left us breathless. Burgeoning careers, growing kids, mushrooming commitments are all good things but they can easily crowd out the best things. Without intention, a stress filled life can leave us feeling isolated and alone.
The average time a couple spends alone together each day is only 4 minutes!
If that’s all you have, don’t despair or think there’s something wrong with you. You are totally normal! If you only have a few minutes, then just make the minutes count!
How to Make the Moments Count
Here are some simple, doable ways to make the moments count.
- At the end of the day, ask each other what was the best part of your day, what was the worst part of your day, and what can I do to help? For an added bonus, make sure your kids are present and ask them to listen quietly as you and your husband have this short conversation. This will bless them and give them a sense of security as they observe you being so considerate of each other. Then ask them these questions!
- Before going to bed or before leaving in the morning pray together for 2 minutes about the challenging schedule ahead of you. You don’t have to use fancy language or pray like someone else does. God designed each of us with our own unique way of expressing ourselves. Just be yourself. Talk to God like you would a friend and ask Him to be with your spouse as they face the challenges of the day. If your spouse is reluctant to pray out loud with you ask him if it would be ok if you pray for him. Then do so in a short, simple prayer. Don’t force him, just encourage him.
- Text each other once a day with a short, encouraging, “I’m thinking about you” message. If he is reluctant to do this, you do it. It might seem odd to him if you have been having a lot of conflict. He may be wondering if you are just being nice because you have a homework assignment. Just keep sending him messages and showing your love for him. Gradually he will realize you really do want to build your relationship.
These small, easy touch points will remind you that you are on the same team, you are partners in this crazy world. Pray for each other during the day as you remember what’s going on in their world.
Draw me after you and let us run together!
Song of Solomon 1:4a NASB
How we Make a Morning Moment Count
Years ago a friend lost her husband unexpectedly. She simply woke up in the morning and he was gone. At the funeral she encouraged me to value every morning I woke up to find my husband next to me. She said I should never take one of those mornings for granted.
From that day on, as we wake up to the sound of the morning news on the radio, we say to each other, “I’m so glad I get to wake up next to you!” And we mean it.
Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
We all live at the speed of life. Time passes so quickly, believe me. We just watched our oldest grandson play in the marching band and attend his first Homecoming dance. I think I was just changing his diaper a few years ago! Forty-three years of marriage has flown by at warp speed.
I hope this has inspired you to find a simple way to make your moments count. For more good ideas, here’s a good book I recommend: Your Time-Starved Marriage by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott (an affiliate link).
…because U count, deb