A knee-jerk reaction to your spouse’s bad mood can set off a chain reaction nuclear explosion. Instead, make the moment count.
Break the Pattern
Maybe you’ve been here. You are exhausted after a brutal day at work. You’ve battled traffic all the way home to find the kids fighting, none of their chores done, and you forgot to take the meat out of the freezer…again. You hear your husband’s car in the driveway and think maybe he can run to the store for you. You turn as he comes in the door and one look at his face says it all. You can almost picture steam coming out of his ears and his scowl says it all.
Our senses pick up someone’s mood within a tenth of a second of seeing them. It’s so easy to come to a quick conclusion when he walks in the door with a scowl on his face. Chances are you’ve also had some challenges yourself. You’re stressed and you can’t handle his mood.
Research finds that after a tough day women are more likely to criticize their spouse. Men are more likely to withdraw. This can become a pattern in your marriage. If this is you, you can break the pattern if you make the moment count.
Make the Moment Count
Instead of letting your emotions flood your response, let your intellect take over. Count to ten if necessary. Repeat the verse below to yourself.
A soft and gentle and thoughtful answer turns away wrath, But harsh and painful and careless words stir up anger.
Proverbs 15:1 AMP
Soften your mood by breathing deeply and slowly, avoiding your own negative response. Calm yourself first, then use physical touch to convey your empathy. His heart rate and blood pressure will lower in response to yours. This can all happen within seconds. Respond to his mood with understanding and gentleness.
Make the moment count. Create an environment like a safe harbor in a storm. Your relationship can be a haven where you leave the baggage at the door, at least for the first few moments.
Your Brain will Love You
Your Brain will thank you for this. You will be strengthening your ability to have compassion and clear thinking. His Brain will be more likely to respond in the same way.
Make the moment count. Then, with heightened compassion and clear thinking, tackle the days problems together.
…because U count, deb