is he mr. right or mr. wrong - part 3

Have you ever wondered about your spouse or boyfriend? Is he Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong? This is the last post of a 3 part series. In what ways are you similar and what ways are you different? It’s important to understand the benefits of coming from similar backgrounds, while at the same time having different natures or personalities.

When I met my husband Bruce 42 years ago, I didn’t really consider how similar or different we were. I was just madly in love! I thought at the time he was indeed Mr. Right. Time has proven I was correct.

Don’t misunderstand me. That doesn’t mean we haven’t had challenges adjusting to each other. But our similarities in nurture helped us to accommodate our differences in nature.

Bruce and I – very similar backgrounds

Our nurture or backgrounds are very similar.

Middle class families who had great work ethics and strove to rise above what their parents achieved.
Both sets of parents were committed to marriage and remained married until one passed away.
They believed in patriotism, they were church goers, they believed in the importance of education.
Both Bruce and I were good students in school, had lots of friends, and were involved in extracurricular activities.
We both had high aspirations for our lives, loved to travel and experience new things.
Although I had an advanced degree and a good paying job, we agreed it was important for me to stay home and raise our children.

Bruce and I – very different personalties

Even though we had many similarities, they all related to our nurture. Our nature was a different story! Our personalities are very different. The photo on this post reflects our differences. These are our favorite t-shirts. Bruce’s reads, “To save time let’s just assume I’m never wrong.” Mine says “I’m just gonna nod and act like I’m listening.” We love to make people laugh at our differences and hope that encourages others to do the same. Here are some other differences we have.

I’m more extroverted, he is more introverted.
I am an optimist, he is a pessimist.
He is accomplishment oriented, I am relationship oriented.
He seeks leadership. I am a reluctant leader.
He is neat and orderly. I usually live in the midst of chaos.
He makes quick decisions, I deliberate.
He moves fast. I am a snail.
I love social events, he tolerates them.

His personality is a blend of Choleric and Melancholy, mine is a blend of Sanguine and Phlegmatic. As we have learned about personality theory, our understanding and appreciation of each other has dramatically improved.

I have a free ebook that reveals much more about this topic, click here to sign up for your copy of “How to be Happily Married, Naked Hangers and All.”

God’s plan for finding Mr. Right

God created us with personalities, and I believe He intends us to be attracted to our opposites.

I recently downloaded The Marriage App to my iPhone. It’s a nifty app that reminds you daily to send messages or share love notes with your spouse. I found the following information in this app under “Care for the one you love: Suitable Helper.”

When God said it was not good for Adam to be alone, He created Eve as a “suitable helper.” The Hebrew words for “suitable helper” literally mean “one who is like, but opposite”—“like” in that Eve, like Adam, is created in and reflects the image of God, equal in worth in every way, but “opposite” in that Eve was created not to be a mirror image of Adam, but to complement him. Eve was created to be his partner.

Isn’t that a beautiful picture of being married to someone who is opposite from you in nature? One who is like, but opposite.

Bruce and I love the personality gifts God gave each of us. One of the ways our differences have blessed us is in marriage mentoring. We play off each other as we work with our couples, and in our discussions afterward, we share our different observations. When we need a firm touch, Bruce is appointed. When we need a shoulder to cry on, that’s my job. He is the one to hold our couples to their committment, I am the one to make sure we understand extenuating circumstances.

Is he Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong?

The first two posts in this series had links to the Prepare & Enrich assessment website. We use that assessment in our mentoring process. Whether you’re struggling to find Mr. Right, or if you think you married Mr. Wrong, please visit that website and find a facilitator near you.

God has big plans for your marriage. Just maybe He wants you to discover the “suitable helper” He chose for you.

…because U count, deb

Is he Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong – part 1

Is he Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong – part 2