There’s a lot of chatter about the attack on Biblical marriage. Like it was something new. Actually, there’s nothing new about it. But there’s plenty that churches can do in this ongoing battle.
Read more: What can Churches Do about the Attack on Biblical Marriage?The Attack on Biblical Marriage
God’s first human institution was marriage, inaugurated with Adam and Eve in the garden. The attack began soon afterward. You can find the account in the book of Genesis, chapter 2:15-24 and chapter 3:1-13. Basically, our enemy, Satan used lies and half-truths to put a wedge between Adam and Eve. They failed to follow God’s one rule in the garden and blamed each other. It seems that we humans are always looking for a scapegoat, someone to blame for our own failures. Satan loves to take advantage of that weakness.
The enemy of marriage is and always has been Satan.
If marriage is under attack, what can the Christian church do to shore up the vulnerabilities of marriage? In this battle, we must gather the troops and strengthen our marriages. We must be committed to building up marriage and helping couples live to the lofty standard of biblical marriage. And there’s plenty we can do.
Download our free marriage mini-course, Better Together, and read about how the very first attack on biblical marriage went down. Then take the course and learn how you and your spouse can be better together, regardless of how different your personalities are.
What is Biblical Marriage?
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:31-32 NIV
Marriage is far more than a man and woman being united for life. Limiting our understanding of marriage to a list of rules to follow sets the bar far too low. For instance . . .
- Marriage is for one man and one woman.
- Don’t sleep together before you’re married.
- Never divorce.
These “rules” are important and biblical, but this is only scratching the surface of what a biblical marriage is to be.
Timothy Keller, in his excellent book, The Meaning of Marriage, explores this incredible, meaningful mystery. He writes that it can only be understood totally through the power of the Holy Spirit. It is a lofty goal to bring two sinful, selfish people together and ask them to submit in reverence and humility to one another to such a profound degree that their union and the gospel of Jesus Christ explain one another.
While marriage is many things, it is anything but sentimental. Marriage is glorious but hard. It’s a burning joy and strength, and yet it is also blood, sweat, and tears, humbling defeats and exhausting victories. No marriage I know more than a few weeks old could be described as a fairy tale come true.
Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage (affiliate link)
Gary Thomas wrote a classic Christian marriage book called Sacred Marriage. His premise is what if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?
Your marriage is more than a sacred covenant with another person. It is a spiritual discipline designed to help you know God better, trust him more fully, and love him more dearly.
Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage (affiliate link)
If your Church doesn’t Invest in Marriages, you’re not Alone
Churches are by and large not meeting the needs of marriages. A recent Communio/Barna study revealed the following statistics.
- 72% of all churches in America lack a substantive marriage ministry.
- 74% of all churches have no ministry for newlyweds helping them through their first critical years of marriage.
- 93% of churches do not offer any ministries for singles.
- Zero $’s: A large majority of churches report spending 0 percent of their ministry dollars on marriage and relationship ministries.
Before you quit reading this post and give up in defeat, please read on. All is not lost! There are plenty of ways that churches can support their marriages.
What can Churches do to Protect Marriages from Attack?
Thank goodness for para-church marriage ministries that have sprung up to fill the gap. They provide great Bible studies, weekend intensives, and resources that churches can utilize to build up the marriages in their community. In many smaller American churches, the pastor is the only one in the church who counsels married couples, and we know from research that these pastors feel overwhelmed.
We are here for churches who have a heart to build up marriages but may not have the resources. We’ve been part of a vibrant marriage ministry at our church for 11 years, and love to meet people from all over the country who are doing marriage ministry. Our strength as a couple is to research and share insight. If your church does not have a marriage ministry, feel free to share this post with your pastor. Utilizing some great para-church ministries may be just the thing to lighten his load and put your church on a path of building marriages.
Just visit our page called For Marriage Champions. Every ministry on the list at that page has been vetted by us personally. We use or have used many of these resources ourselves. Contact us if you have questions or just want to talk! We’re here for you.
We want to be your advocates in the attack on marriage. Our enemy Satan wants to take every marriage down. He wants to see superficial Christian marriages, spouses living like roommates, without the real spiritual growth that God intends to be part of every marriage. It’s time for us to invest in oneness in our marriages so that we become beacons in this dark world. So everyone who knows a married Christian couple says, “I want what they have.”