No Matter What, there is Hope

“There is hope,” is our message to hurting couples ready to give up on marriage. That’s why we wrote our new novel, Love on Life Support. Our aim was to provide hope in story form.

Read more: No Matter What, there is Hope

There is Hope even when your Love is on Life Support

“I have no hope for my marriage.” The woman’s tear stained face defied me to prove her wrong. She had been in a troubled marriage for far too long. If this marriage were in the hospital, it would be flat-lined, on life support. Her unanswered prayers for her husband’s changed heart had hardened hers over the years.

What could I say to encourage her? My heart ached for her. The word, “hope” came to my mind. Scripture has a lot to say about hope.

• “According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.” 1 Peter 1:3
• “Set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:13
• “Waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.” Titus 2:13
• “Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God.” Psalm 146:5

I sadly agreed with her. Putting my hope in her husband or any other human being for that matter would be foolish. God never asked us to hope in broken humanity.

Jesus is our only hope.

Linda, in Love on Life Support, lost Hope in her Marriage

Our new novel, Love on Life Support, is the story of Amy and Chris, who’s marriage is on “life support”, because their love for each other had run cold. Amy meets with her marriage mentor, Linda, who tells Amy about her own marriage story. Like my friend above, Linda had lost hope in her marriage. As so many spouses do, she focused on “helping” her husband Jim be a better man. Predictably, that didn’t work.

When we wrote our novel, we knew first hand how wives can tend to “help” their husbands be better. That’s exactly what I did in our marriage! Now, when I meet with other wives in “fix-him” mode, I share my experience honestly. And that’s the technique we used for Linda. Her story (like mine) is very common, it went something like this.

1. My spouse isn’t living up to my expectations. So I try to change him.
2. He doesn’t change. My resentment builds and I begin pulling away from him. My love for my spouse grows cold.
3. I pray for God to change him.
4. He still doesn’t change, so I begin pulling away from God. My love for God grows cold.

Linda Shares the Turning Point for Hope in her Marriage

Things began to turn around for Linda, and she explains what happened.

For me, it wasn’t about what I needed to do. I had to learn who God created me to be. He didn’t intend for me to be a control freak. I had a choice as I grieved crushing disappointments. I could respond by trusting God and building my faith or rejecting God and destroying it.

Love on Life Support

Linda grew in her faith through leaning on God instead of trying to fix it herself. She let God be God. This revelation is always a turning point in anyone’s spiritual walk. It was for me.

1. I admit God didn’t create me to be my spouse’s mama, teacher, or Holy Spirit. Instead, I am his cheerleader and partner. I stop trying to change him. My love for him grows stronger when it’s not based on his performance.
2. I realize God did create me to be His child, and His goal for me is holiness. I begin to take responsibility for the way I show up in my marriage. I begin to change and my spouse’s love for me grows warmer.
3. I begin to feel real change in my love for my spouse and my love for God.

Read Love on Life Support to Find Out what Happens Next

Will Amy take Linda’s advice and take responsibility for how she shows up in her marriage? Pick up your copy of Love on Life Support and find out what happens next.

What about your marriage? How do you show up? Here’s a great song called There is Hope by City Alight to help you focus on hope in God. Visit Our Free Gifts for You and download some marriage resources created just for you.