Does insomnia conspire against you like it does me? When my exhausted brain gets in a rut I overcome worries and sleepless nights with listening prayer. Here’s how.
My Sleepless Nights
Why is it when I wake up in the middle of the night my mind immediately goes to my biggest worry? Why don’t I lie awake at night dwelling on wonderful thoughts? Do you wonder the same things?
You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
Psalm 77:4 ESV
I dread getting out of bed in the middle of the night, especially if it’s cold in the house. The worst! So I toss and turn and try to get comfortable. I know that in the past listening prayer has helped me, but for some reason in the middle of the night I keep thinking I can just do it myself. Bad idea – almost never works!
On April 6, 2020 at 2am there I was. My husband Bruce was in the hospital during COVID-19, undergoing two brain surgeries for a mysterious and rare condition. Instead of tossing and turning I sat up, grabbed my journal and started praying.
Tell Jesus the Truth
First I tell Jesus the truth about how I’m feeling.
Can’t sleep…again. I need a fresh perspective Jesus. That can only come from You. I was just downstairs eating some yogurt and looking at our mission statement on the wall. Our enemy must feel gleeful, ever since we hung that up it’s been one challenge after the other.
So I come to You Jesus, full of worries. Bruce isn’t recovering as fast as they would like from his brain surgery. He’s having weird dreams. He’s still stumbling on a lot of words. He’s not out if the water with MRSA risk. He’s not out of the water with the growing Covid risk. There’s only a make-shift ICU for non-Covid patients, and he has to share a bathroom down the hall with others. Will we ever finish our goals together? Will we be faithful? Will we finish well? Is the best yet to be? You get the picture…I believe….help my unbelief
Listen to Jesus Talk
After telling Jesus all about my worries I let Him have a turn. I pray a quick prayer under the authority of Scripture and in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to silence the voice of our enemy and take my own thoughts captive. I ask Jesus for His wisdom.
I felt safe, secure, shoulders relaxed as if Jesus had placed his hands in them. Tears of comfort, like when Dad would come home from a long business trip and I would grab his big hand, sobbing because I was so relieved to see him. Like I was in a bubble-cushioning me from everything bombarding me.
Just breathe. Keep your eyes on Me-on the Prize. No matter what the outcome, We Win.
(I almost fell asleep but Jesus woke me up again, He wasn’t done talking.)
It’s going to be ok. No matter what-things are under My Control and it’s going to be OK. I’m here, take My hand, lean your head on my shoulder and rest. You can fall asleep, I will sit vigil over you because I don’t sleep. Just ask Me any time, slip your hand in Mine and rest. Soul rest. You will find rest for your soul.
Take Jesus at His Word
That was all I wrote. I put the journal down and fell asleep. In the morning I was amazed to see I had a sleep score of 85 (we have a sleep number bed). How is that possible?
I took Jesus at His word. I believe He has my best interest at heart, that He is in control, and that He knows I need sleep. That’s how He created our bodies. If I can let go of my worries, the sleepless nights are not a problem.
I know that the problems will still be here in the morning, that in this world we will have troubles. But I’m ok with setting down those seemingly unsolvable problems for a time in the middle of the night so I can get rest. Jesus carefully watches over the situation for me. And usually the problems don’t seem so overwhelming in the morning.
My son, do not lose sight of these— keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble. If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
Proverbs 3:21-24 ESV
God’s Plan for Trouble
God knows we have troubles in our lives, but He still asks us not to worry or fear. In fact, there are 365 places in the Bible where He tells us this!
Gods plan is for us to trust Him and put the worry aside. He designed our brains to send out warning signs to us when we are letting our thoughts fret and stew, called stress hormones. These hormones cause lots of physical effects that should be red flags to us: insomnia, gut issues, headaches, are just a few examples of the symptoms of stress. Over time, if we let the stressful thoughts ruminate, we can develop diseases like diabetes, osteoporosis, and even cancer.
God knows you will have trouble in this world, and that you will be apt to have worries and sleepless nights. But He has a better plan for how to help us handle the trouble. All we have to do is ask Him, and listen to His wise advice.