What’s your natural instinct when a conflict flares up? Do you fight fire with fire, giving as good as you got? Do you retreat in seething silence, eliminating any chance of resolution? Or do you stop, drop, and roll the flames out, resolving the conflict?
Fighting Fire with Stop, Drop, Roll
You remember being taught to “stop, drop, roll” as a kid? It was an easy-to-remember, easy-to-teach, life-saving lesson for when someone’s clothes caught on fire. Most of us, especially kids, would run in fear instead, feeding the flames with oxygen. Our natural instincts would cause the fire to rage out of control.
Stop, drop, roll happens to be an easy-to-remember, easy-to-teach, relationship-saving device for when a conflict has been ignited.
Our natural instincts in conflict would be to defend, criticize, or walk away and refuse to engage. Those responses only fan the flames of conflict into a roaring blaze.
When life throws it’s greatest challenges at us, what do we normally do? How do we instinctively react? What is the first thing you feel like doing? Do you panic? Do you run? Do you try to find somewhere to hide? One of my dad’s funny sayings growing up was, “When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.” It wouldn’t be so funny if it wasn’t so true of my own life at times.
D. Mike Collins
God’s Stop, Drop, Roll
If we asked Him, here’s what I think God’s stop, drop, and (let’s) roll would look like.
- STOP. Don’t just plunge ahead, criticizing the other person, or defending yourself. And don’t retreat in silence and fume for days. Either response will be adding fuel to the fire! Instead stop and turn your heart to Jesus.
- DROP. To my knees in prayer or in your imagination. Send up a quick arrow prayer, “on my knees” in my heart. Ask God how should I respond: how and when can I speak truth in love?
- LET’S ROLL. God will invite you to join Him on mission in this moment. He’s just waiting for you to ask! What God tells you-do that. He’s giving you a chance to change the direction of the relationship, saying to you “let’s roll!” But do it His way. With humility, with honesty, with love.
So I’m asking you, my friends, that you be joined together in perfect unity—with one heart, one passion, and united in one love. Walk together with one harmonious purpose and you will fill my heart with unbounded joy. Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves. Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests. And consider the example that Jesus, the Anointed One, has set before us. Let his mindset become your motivation.
Philippians 2:2-5 TPT