I’m learning to be content in marriage. But it’s not easy! Are you like me? Do you avoid negative women who complain about their husbands but then you go home and roll your eyes or raise your eyebrows when he does THAT THING…AGAIN? Ah, yep. Here’s how I’m learning to be content.
Learning to Complain?
Do any of us need to “learn” to complain? I think that’s kind of like asking, who taught your daughter to roll her eyes?
It’s so easy to see a complaining spirit in someone else, right? Just to be clear, as a marriage mentor I hear the frustration of many women who are struggling in their marriages. That’s ok when the purpose is seeking wise counsel. Someone with a complaining spirit doesn’t want solutions, she just wants to vent.
It’s easy to see a complaining spirit in someone else, but not so easy to see it in ourselves.
Because God is the Creator of all things, our contentment with those things is heard by Him as praise. And when we complain God hears antipraise.
You are not grumbling against us, but against the Lord.
Exodus 16:8 NIV
We think we have a problem with our spouse, our finances, our kids, our health, our job. But – and this might sting a little – we really have a problem with God.
Complaining is so catchy. I used to lead a wives Bible study with women who had marriage struggles. Each week I would listen to complaints and offer nicely packaged, godly suggestions.
Then I would drive home grumbling about my own husband and asking, what about me? When is it my turn?
I guess I was learning to complain.
Learning to be Content
I decided to begin my trip home from Bible study by thanking God for my wonderful husband and asking Him to inoculate me against the catchy disease of complaint. It’s a process of learning contentment, and I’m not done yet!
The antidote to complaint is contentment with God. It’s being so in awe of God, so satisfied with His Presence and His Promises that things that once sent me over the edge of annoyance are now inconsequential.
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:11-13 NIV
If you are struggling with the virus of complaint, you might want to read Awe: Why it Matters for Everything we Think, Say, & Do by Paul David Tripp (affiliate link).
It’s much better than a vaccination, and there are no side-effects.