Changing my name in marriage is recalling the meaning and value God gives to marriage. Mr. & Mrs. symbolizes the amazing gift of two becoming one.
God’s View of Two Becoming One Name
God’s first human institution was marriage, it was His idea first to take two people who are very different from one another and bring them together in a holy covenant of love that symbolizes God’s love for us. When we change our surname in marriage, it calls attention to God’s gift of marriage.
This naming really does now call a gift, a gift of God. I read again, “To name a thing is to manifest the meaning and value God gave it.”
Ann Voskamp
Two becoming one in the Bible is about each spouse dying to self, respecting and loving the other above self. Marriage is a profound mystery. It’s a picture of the unity between Christ and His church.
Becoming one in the Bible isn’t about one spouse lording it over the other, it’s not about suppression of women’s rights, and it’s not about elevating men over women. Each spouse in a Biblical marriage is called on to die to self and live to the other.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:31-32 NIV
The tradition of taking the same name in marriage isn’t in the Bible. People didn’t actually have surnames until the 9th century. In the Bible, the people were known by their first name only. However, I believe taking the same surname is a way to honor God’s plan for marriage.
Man’s View of Two Becoming One Name
Man has concocted all sorts of laws that fall so short of God’s ways. One of them is the law of coverture which was first enacted in England in the 9th century.
The law of coverture required a woman to take not only her husband’s surname but also his identity. She was not allowed to enter into business, legal matters, or ownership of property.
God’s ways are not man’s ways. He always elevates, always honors, always loves sacrificially. Don’t fear giving up a name in marriage. When we give up something for God’s greater purpose we experience abundant and joyful life.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV