It’s Marriage Monday and it’s also Christmas Eve. This morning I asked God what He wanted to teach me about marriage, and He prompted me to look at the Christmas story in the Bible. I read the accounts of Mary and Joseph as they responded to the angel’s pronouncements. Each reacted with trust and faith in God. The result – their marriage become greater than the sum of its parts.

An Ordinary Girl Trusting an Extraordinary God

The Bible gives us some background on Mary and Joseph. Both loved God and wanted to serve Him. Both were average, ordinary people. Nothing special, really. Mary was probably about 14 years old, a peasant girl. Joseph could have been quite a bit older, he was a stone mason. We often think of him as a carpenter. But that’s a Western interpretation – in that part of the world there are few trees, and the homes have been traditionally built of stone. At any rate, Joseph worked with his hands, a laborer. Neither Mary nor Joseph were leaders in their community, wealthy, or influential in any way.

Except for one thing…Mary and Joseph had ordinary faith in an extraordinary God.

Mary and Joseph were betrothed or promised to each other. We would say they were engaged. But in Bible times, this betrothal really meant they were legally married, but they hadn’t started living together or consummated the marriage. It was in this betrothal period that the angel Gabriel came to visit Mary and share an incredible message with her.

Gabriel told Mary that she was going to give birth to the Savior of the World. This was something the Hebrew people had anticipated for a long time.  The Old Testament promised that a virgin was going to someday give birth to a baby who would save the world from their sins. It’s pretty incredible that of all the women God could choose, He would pick just an ordinary girl. Mary only had a few questions for Gabriel, and then she said, “Yes, I see it all now: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say” (Luke 1:38 MSG).

Mary had enormous faith in God. If anyone discovered she was pregnant outside of marriage, she could be put to death by stoning. And yet her faith and trust in God gave her the courage to submit to Him.

An Ordinary Man Trusting an Extraordinary God

Joseph was also trusting God during this time. The Bible doesn’t tell us how he found out Mary was pregnant, but when he did, he didn’t want to disgrace her by announcing his betrothed had been unfaithful to him. He was an honorable, righteous man so he decided to hide her away somewhere to have the baby in secret, and then quietly divorce her.

But the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, and told him the baby was conceived by the Holy Spirit. This baby was going to be the Savior, He would save people from their sins. The Lord instructed Joseph to take Mary as his wife and raise the baby as his own. The Bible tells us, “Then Joseph woke up. He did exactly what God’s angel commanded in the dream: He married Mary. But he did not consummate the marriage until she had the baby. He named the baby Jesus” (Matthew 1:25 MSG).

Joseph trusted God and had faith even though there were great odds that they would be shunned by society. He probably felt as amazed as Mary to think God would choose them for this mighty job.

Mary and Joseph’s Marriage was Greater than the Sum of its Parts

Together, Mary and Joseph created a safe place for Jesus to grow up and learn about life. Jesus was fully God, but came to earth as a tiny, helpless baby. He was just like us in every way. He had to learn obedience just like any child, “Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered” (Hebrews 5:8).

They undoubtedly applied godly wisdom in raising their Son, but they were just ordinary people. And God blessed them abundantly in creating something from their marriage that was greater than the sum of its parts. Something that neither of them ever dreamed they could be part of.

Your Marriage can be Greater than the Sum of its Parts

Bruce and I met in college, in calculus class. We are pretty familiar with mathematical concepts, although I honestly can’t remember what we learned in calculus. I was probably too busy trying to get the attention of that awesome guy next to me! I always told my kids, “math can be very romantic!” Jason, our son, believed us. He also met his wife Heather in calculus. But Robin, our daughter, she didn’t fall for it. She and CJ did NOT meet in calculus class!

For mathematical types, the sum is always equal to the parts. Never more. Never less. But in God’s world, the whole is often greater than its parts. This is actually a quote from Aristotle, and we see it played out in many different applications. A company made up of individuals with varying gifts can synergistically produce an outcome far greater than the sum of its parts.

We have a verse that sums up the hope that our marriage will be greater than the sum of its parts. It’s 3 John 4: “I have no greater joy than to hear of my children walking in the truth.” We used to have this verse stenciled on a wall at our house. At the time we had two children, Jason and Robin.

Today this verse reveals to us how our outcome is growing. We now have two children, a daughter-in-law, a son-in-law, and two grandsons. But our circle of influence has grown to something we never dreamed of when we first chose that verse. Now our “children” include many couples we have mentored and helped in their marriages. We have seen their children change as a result of the changes in the couple’s relationship. Our marriage is growing to be greater than the sum of its parts. And we thank God for that every day.

How to Start Growing

Your marriage can also grow to be greater than the sum of its parts. If you are a wife and you doubt my words, I want to give you hope. Your first step in achieving this goal is becoming “an ordinary girl trusting an extraordinary God.” We’ll let God take care of the “ordinary man” you are married to!

One of the things you can do to grow to trust God more is to get to know Him better. My books will help you know Him and learn to trust Him as you lean into His two most important commandments: Love God and Love your Neighbor(Husband) as Yourself. Visit my PricklyPeople page to get more details. Then start growing!

…because U count, deb