Have you ever asked the “why” questions? Why did my life turn out this way? Why did he…? Why did they…? Why am I suffering? The answers to these questions frequently turn us away from God. Because, let’s face it, God doesn’t play fair. Do you agree? I’m mad at God!
Playing Fair
Were you taught to hit back when you were a kid? My parents wanted to make sure we weren’t doormats, and they taught us to give as good as we get, to fight fire with fire, to treat them like they treat you. It’s only fair, right?
We lived on a street in a bedroom community full of tiny ranch houses overflowing with kids. A couple of doors down from us was a house of boys, bad boys. The baddest boy was Billy. Billy was a bully.
My sister was the same age as Billy and he loved to pick on her. She would come home crying. My dad would say, “You hit him back!” She never did.
One day she came home crying again because Billy hit her. That did it. My dad took my sister by the hand and marched down to Billy’s house. He rang the doorbell. If this happened today, they probably would have called the child abuse hotline, but back in the 60’s no one had ever thought of that.
Billy’s mom brought Billy to the door to talk to this irate man and cowering little girl. Billy stood on the porch, and Dad told my sister, “hit him!”
“I don’t want to!” Now she started crying.
“You hit him!”
My sister gave him a pathetic little tap with a limp hand. Now Billy started crying.
I guess it worked, because Billy never hit my sister again.
But Billy was still a bully.
Jim Daly from Focus on the Family wrote a devotional called “Don’t play fair.” He wrote, “Relationships thrive when we put aside what someone deserves and give them what they need.”
If you think God doesn’t play fair, you’re right. He doesn’t give us what we deserve, but he does give us what we need.
God’s Plan for Forgiveness
Maybe you’ve noticed that kids are born selfish. And as they grow up it only gets worse. No one ever taught their toddler to scream Mine! Parents never teach their children to lie. We are all selfish creatures, wanting only the best for ourselves. We have pride, arrogance, and we think it’s all about me.
God created us for relationship with him. He loves us, believe it or not! God gives us everything we need for a strong life. He breathed life into us, and stamped each of us with his image. This world is really all about God. When we think it’s all about me, we can’t be in a place of thankfulness and honor to God. That breaks our relationship with him.
If God were truly fair, he would give us what we deserve, separation from him. But God doesn’t play fair. So instead he made a plan to give us what we need instead of what we deserve.
God’s plan has two steps: Vertical Forgiveness and Horizontal Forgiveness.
Vertical Forgiveness
You know the story about Jesus, right? He is God’s son, he came to earth and lived a perfect life. Then some bad people killed him on a cross.
This was actually God’s plan in action. Sounds like a pretty crazy plan, right? That’s because it’s not fair.
Jesus was the perfect person, and he was qualified to die in our place for our sins. The sin of the world was put on Jesus as he hung on the cross. The weight of the world’s passions, rebellion, brokenness, guilt, shame, and fears were resting on his shoulders.
One of the critical statements Jesus made on the cross was, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34 NIV).
At the foot of the cross were some people. Some of them loved Jesus – his mother, other supporters. Some of them hated Jesus – people who were ridiculing him and taunting him.
Jesus addressed his Father in heaven, but he was talking about those people. And all people, those who are living now, and those who haven’t been born yet. “Christ died for sins once for all, a good man on behalf of sinners” (1 Peter 3:18 NIV). He was talking about:
- The people at the foot of the cross who loved him
- The people at the foot of the cross who hated him
- Herod, who sentenced him to death
- His apostles who abandoned him at his greatest time of need
- Judas who sold him for a few coins
- Einstein, Hitler, Mother Teresa, and Billy Graham
- Me
- You
- Our great-great-great-grandkids
Jesus was talking about us, but he wasn’t talking to us. He was talking to his Father. And he asked for our forgiveness, based on his sacrifice.
This is vertical forgiveness. It takes place between Jesus and the Father, an agreement to forgive not based on our behavior, but on his grace and love. This step of vertical forgiveness makes a way for a relationship to be established, but there is another step required before that can be accomplished.
Horizontal Forgiveness
Jesus’ death on the cross provided a way for each of us to heal in our relationship with God. But the work of the cross is only the first step. The second step is horizontal forgiveness.
Horizontal forgiveness is between each one of us and God. Jesus paid for our forgiveness, and he offers us the olive branch of peace. It’s up to us to receive it or not.
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me” (Revelation 3:20 NIV).
Every person, at one point in their life or another will sense an invitation to receive this gift of forgiveness. The decision to receive is as simple as 1, 2, 3.
- Admit I need to be forgiven. I’m not perfect enough to deserve heaven or a relationship with Jesus.
- Believe that Jesus’ sacrifice applies to me, that he loves me enough to pay my debt.
- Count the cost – this is a decision that will change eternity for me. Am I really serious? Do I admit… or do I admit, admit? Do I believe… or do I believe, believe? Am I willing to open the door to Jesus and let him into my life? Will I agree to do life with Jesus?
When we make the decision to receive God’s forgiveness through Jesus, we have accomplished horizontal forgiveness. The Bible puts it this way.
“If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9 NIV).
How can I be mad at God?
I made this decision 21 years ago, and I’ve never regretted it. My relationship with God has grown in these years to give me abundant peace even in chaos, sustaining power when I’m weak, and enduring purpose when I wonder what’s going on.
Jay Carty, a former pro basketball player told a story that helps me understand our “why” questions from God’s perspective.
Imagine you are driving on a highway and you see a horrible accident occur right in front of you. A car hits the median, rolls several times and ends up in a ditch. You pull your car over and race to the accident scene to see if you can help.
In the car is a woman. As you struggle to open the door, you see steam rising from the engine, and sparks flying. You know the car is about to blow up and the woman will be killed. You wrench the door open and immediately see the woman is trapped. Her legs are crushed beneath the steering column. You have a decision to make.
If you pull her out, you will probably break her legs. Will you do it?
Let’s say you know that this woman is going to end up paralyzed for life. She will never walk again. Will you still pull her out?
Let’s say you also know she is going to hate you for the rest of her life for making her lame. Now will you pull her out?
This, in a way, is God’s perspective. We have an eternal soul that will live forever, our bodies are only temporary. God cares so much about our eternal soul being with him in heaven, that he is willing to sort of ‘break our legs’ to save our souls. He risks everything to allow hardship in our lives. He knows that struggles can sometimes harden us so bad that we end up hating him forever.
That makes God sad. But it doesn’t stop him from trying to help us.
John Eldredge wrote, “If you are holding something in your heart against Jesus – the loss of someone you love, a painful memory from your past, simply the way your life has turned out – if you are holding that against Jesus, well, then, it is between you and Jesus. And no amount of ignoring it or being faithful in other areas of your life is going to make it go away. In order to move forward, you are going to need to forgive Jesus for whatever those things are.”
God doesn’t need forgiveness. But maybe we need to forgive God. If he loves me so much he is willing to let his son die for me, how can I be mad at him?
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Are you mad at God? What grudge are you holding against him? Can you forgive him today? It’s only fair.
…because U count, deb