Baby Boomer’s Plan for Finishing Well

St. Catherine of Sienna is famous for saying, “Nothing great is ever achieved without much enduring.” Enduring is an old-fashioned word for persisting. And persistence always pays off. I’m a Baby Boomer, and I’m learning how important persistence is in living life well. Here’s the Baby Boomer’s plan for finishing well.

Reaching a goal always means hard work. Running a marathon, for instance, requires us to strain for the finish line; we grunt in exertion, we press on, lungs getting squeezed, we are wrung out. But every racer crosses the finish line with their arms extended in a V for victory, a big smile on their face. Is it worth it? Yes.  Every grueling step.

But what about the race of life? Can we run this race as if it’s a marathon? Can we keep going, not just for 26.2 miles, but for the long haul, keeping our eyes on the finish line and leaping over any obstacles in our way?

My Mom had a stroke last month, and our family has had a very emotional and difficult time adjusting, making decisions, and loving Mom in what may be our final days with her. Observing her journey as she finishes her race makes me think about my own race for the finish. I really, really want to finish well. I want to leave a legacy to my kids and grandkids, showing them how to finish well, arms outstretched in a V for victory, big smile on my face. I am looking forward to the prize at the end, eternal life in Heaven. But the race will be fraught with pitfalls, obstacles, detours, and roadblocks.

So I am committing to those who follow me – I promise you three things. There will be No Regrets, No Giving Up and No Winding Down.

No Regrets

I can think of nothing sadder than finishing a life and having deep regrets. While none of us will live life perfectly and we will all have regrets of some kind, we can look to the wisdom of others to understand how to avoid major regrets in life. A book by Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, peels back the covers and lets us peek into the minds of those who are finishing life. Knowing these five regrets is a gift – if I have a chance to do things right in finishing well, I will choose to avoid these regrets.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

If we were able to ask people after their death what their greatest regret was, undoubtedly there would be one much more important regret than these five.

I wish I had acknowledged and loved God.

Spending eternity separated from God would create eternal regret, a truly heart-breaking grief.

But the good news is, even if we’ve lived a long time, we can make a decision that today things are going to change. The decision is the first step in finishing well. Even those who make a decision to live a life for God on the last day of their lives will be ushered into Heaven and into the arms of Jesus. For more about this important decision, read my free resource, No Greater Love.

“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.” (Hebrews 6:10-12 NIV)

No Giving Up

A life of discipline is not easy for me. I am not naturally disciplined, but have learned to be somewhat orderly. I was raised by a very orderly mom and I’m married to a very orderly husband. I’ve basically developed discipline in my life in an attempt to stay out of trouble!

Sometimes it works, and sometimes not so much.

God values order and discipline. Here are some verses to illustrate His love of discipline.

• “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11 ESV).
• “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge” (Proverbs 12:1 ESV).
• “But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified” (1 Corinthians 9:27 ESV).

I often want to give up rather than discipline myself in exercise. That is one area I struggle with constantly. I know in my head the benefits of exercise, I see the effects of the new “sitting disease.” But I have to engage in self-talk and hard work to keep going when I just want to give up.

That’s ok. The process of getting up from the couch and going to work out when I don’t really want to will reap benefits later on. My attitude often changes after I’ve done some power walking or yoga or other form of exercise. I’m always glad I did.

Exercise may not be difficult for you, but maybe some other form of discipline is. Remember, don’t give up, just keep going. Be realistic about your possible failure. Just because you fail to keep to your goal doesn’t mean you should give up.

Bill Bradley said, “Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.” If your vehicle breaks down, get a tune-up, get back on the road and keep going.

 No Winding Down

At the end of 2014 every Baby Boomer was over 50 years old. Our parent’s generation had much different prospects about retirement than we have, and we might not have learned from them how to finish well. Jane Pauly wrote a book about aging well, Your Life Calling: Reimagining the Rest of Your Life.  She writes, “Midlife is becoming a more vigorous phase of life than ever before.”

Reimagining our lives is charting new territory for many of us. What does that look like? Our parents, the Greatest Generation, didn’t know what to do in retirement except to eat and rest. They were of the mindset that you wind down when you retire. Both my mom and my father in law are in their 80’s and are astounded they are still alive. They never expected to live this long.

For us, we can imagine a longer life, but watching our parents age can be hair-raising. I’m committed to doing it differently. We know from research that living longer and staying healthier is a powerful combination. We don’t have to sit in a rocking chair watching reruns for the rest of our lives. Many of us will live 30 or even 40 years after retirement. That is a long time! Think of it as a gift, not a curse. Commit to keep going, reimagining what your second half story will be.

Be inspired by the latest research and stories of others that can spur us on to greater things. A great book about aging well is Younger Next Year for Women: Live Strong, Fit, and Sexy – Until You’re 80 and Beyond. The authors are committed to leading us in doing things differently. “The two of us are absolutely messianic about the importance of changing the way we live and age in this country. The way we do it now – our idleness, isolation, obesity, illness and apathy – is a disastrous waste. An outrage, frankly.”

Finishing Well with Coaching 

I would love to brainstorm with you about reimaging your life and finishing well. My joy is to equip and encourage women to grab hold of the exceptional life God promises to those who follow Him – right up to our last breath. Please consider visiting my Life Coaching page and take advantage of three free coaching sessions.

“Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means” (2 Corinthians 8:11 NIV). Don’t quit the race until you cross the finish line. It will all be worth it!

…because U count, deb